Thursday, September 30, 2010

Loving The Journey

I am feeling fabulous! It is such a great feeling.  So I have been looking at what makes me feel this way. Strangely, it is not the number on the scale.  When I feel really great, it is because I am doing things that I love.
I have been struggling a bit lately and as I was looking back over my posts and reviewing my habits I realized something.  I am happiest and, consequently, lose the most weight, when I fill my days up with things that make me joyful. 
It turns into a cycle of good.  A cycle I definitely want to keep going.
I have been digging into my emotional crap a lot.  And I think that is good.  I believe it is necessary.  But I keep getting so caught up in the work of it that I forget to just be.
This week I have been doing things I love.  I have been reading books that inspire me, I have been listening to my positive thinking c.d., I have been drawing.  And yes, I have been exercising, and enjoying it!!!
I used to fill myself up with food and waste my time on mind numbing activities.  Now as I find myself waking up and stepping away from the food it seems like I have all of this extra space or time to fill up.
I have been taking away so much of my old life and at times I have felt a little scared and started to struggle.  It finally hit me.  Fill up the space with good.  With joy.  With all of the things you love.  Live like you deserve to be happy.  Take the time to do what you love.  Even if it is "silly" or "non-productive". 
I mean, seriously, when I draw what I create doesn't even usually make sense to me.  It may look crazy to others, or seem like a waste of time - but it makes me happy!!!
I think a lot of the time I feel like I deserve to be punished for what I have allowed myself to become.  I am making the journey harder than it has to be.  When I struggle, it seems like that is how it should be and I accept it. 
But what if I don't accept that? 
What if I decide that instead of feeling deprived I want to feel fulfilled? 
That is how I am feeling this week, and guess what - food doesn't feel like such a big deal this week.  Coincidence?  I think not!  I have decided to see what I can fill myself up with, if not food.
I feel fabulous!
I am excited about where I am going, sure.  But today I am loving the journey.  Isn't that exciting?  I am not going to block this feeling off anymore, I feel alive with energy and creativity.
Note to self: Keep it up :)

P.S. I am joining in on Lucy's Blog Hop again this week. I always find a lot of great blogs when I do :)


  1. Hi Cara,

    It's wonderful to hear you're doing better. I am so proud of you! You hung in there, instead of running from your discomfort, and now you are getting on the other side of it!

    You are a great inspiration for others. Emotional eaters tend to run from and avoid their unpleasant feelings and therefore never learn from what these states are trying to tell them. They often never get to the pot of gold waiting for them on the other side.

    Each time a person moves through these uncomfortable states (growing pains really) they learn that they are stronger than they ever gave themselves credit for. They become less apt to run from them again in the future. And believe me, they will come again, for this is the challenge of life: to have the courage to stay with our discomfort and truly see what life is really asking us. Most of the time it is to grow and change!

    We are like flowers, our task is to nuture ourselves so that we may bloom and bask in the fullness and joy of life!!

    It is wonderful for me to witness your blossoming!


    Catherine L. Taylor

  2. Thank you Catherine :)

    I am really glad that I am choosing to "stay with my discomfort". I am finding that every time I work through something it feels even better than the last time. It is really worth it. I keep writing because I am sure there will be many more challenges and it helps to look back, in times of struggle, and see how good it feels to get to the other side. I really appreciate your kind words :)

  3. That's Great that you are feeling so Good!!! I think it is wonderful that you draw because you love it and it makes you happy! I do the same thing with painting.