Saturday, May 28, 2011


I know I have a post in this head somewhere and I am going to type until it comes out :)

I have been noticing a huge difference in the way people treat me lately. Does this happen to you too? I feel like everyone around me is treating me differently. Some people seem to think I am some sort of 'Diet Guru' or something, and they want to know my "secret". I hate this! Not because I don't want to be helpful, but because it seems like no matter what I say it is always the opposite of helpful.

If I start talking about positive thinking and visualizing I can seriously see their eyes glazing over. I am sure I sound like a crazy person and the conversation is almost always uncomfortable.

I have had people tell me that I look really good, but kind of in an accusatory way. If that makes sense. Some try to explain to me why it is harder for them to do it, almost like I am judging them - which I would never do! I still feel the same inside, but I am treated SO differently. It is a little surreal.

I am sure everyone that is losing weight deals with this, but it is not at all like I expected it to be. I thought that everyone around me would be happy for me and supportive, and a lot are. But some people seem to be really uncomfortable around me now. It makes me feel bad sometimes.

It just occurred to me that the old Cara would use this as an excuse to quit. Something like "hey, you are drawing attention to yourself", or "you are making people uncomfortable, you should stop". I will not! But I wish that I was better at dealing with these changes. It seems like right now my body is changing faster than my mind or something.

I still have self esteem issues, shocking I know :) I feel like the fat girl and everyone is treating me like I am someone else, it is hard to wrap my head around. I usually feel like I am stumbling along, and making it up as I go and suddenly I am treated like I have all the answers. Weird!

Well, that's it for now I guess. I almost feel like I am being mean or something if I post this. But it is where I am at right now, so it is getting posted.

Happy Saturday :)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Weigh-In Day

I am here on weigh in day, it's like a miracle or something :)
I updated my weekly weight chart and my weight today is 161.48 lbs.
I am ready to go!
My weight has gone up and down a bit in the last month.  I let stress consume me and than I, in turn, consumed too much :)  That's something I do sometimes still I guess. Yuck!!! But good to know.
Anyway, I wanted to get a post done today before I hop into bed. I am so tired. It is a good tired though :)
It has nothing to do with stress or drama and everything to do with physical activity. Yay!!! :) It feels good.
I'll be back soon!

Bye for now,

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hello Again :)

I am very glad to be back here.
I have been dealing with a lot of stuff around here and I have been stressed and worried and I have not focused on my health or this journey at all, really. I am ready to change that!

My last post mentioned that we had a sick family member, it was my Mother In Law, and I am very sad to post that she passed away on May 3rd. She was amazing and I will miss her every day. She was like a second mother and a really great friend to me. The person I would call to talk about anything. I really love her. So, I have been sad, and mopey, and all kinds of depressing lately. But I am ready to stop that.

I have so many things to say, but nothing is coming out properly, so I will leave it there for now. I plan to be all updated and ready to go for Weigh-In Day on Tuesday. My weight today is 160.82 lbs. I am working out 30 min./day on the Wii. I am ready to get moving again :)

Bye for now,