I have been having a really hard time finding the words I want to use lately. I sit down to blog, but nothing comes. I have a lot of thoughts running through my head and I have a lot of stuff going on , I just can't seem to organize my thoughts into a post. Things are going well. I stumbled a bit in my efforts, but I am getting really good at picking myself up and moving forward again. I am in a pretty good place, food-wise, and I am getting back into the swing of exercising - slowly, but surely :) I think that it may help to get back into the habit of sitting down and writing. Just writing whatever comes and letting it all flow. It will probably be a lot of rambling, but maybe it will help to just let my thoughts loose. I feel like they are all jumbled and messy right now. I guess I need to start opening those boxes again ;) Last night I realized something pretty huge. I was looking in the mirror and I realized that I liked what I saw!!! That is huge! Huger than huge! :) I don't even have the words to describe what a big deal this is for me. I realized that for a while now I have been liking what I see, liking who I see. It may be hard to understand, but before this I really cannot tell you when the last time I liked the reflection in the mirror. I don't even remember - it has been so long. I am liking all of me (inside and out) and it feels good. I am stumbling, I am messing up, I am going slower than I wanted to and I still like me. This realization is so big, that I feel like I could cry. It amazes me that I keep thinking I am not doing good enough, and I have had this huge breakthrough. I almost missed it! I need to start recognizing how far I really have come. I started this journey with a number in mind, and I am not there yet - but I have gained something much more valuable. Love! It feels so good. I still want it all :) The number, the feeling, all of it, but for now - this is amazing! More than I really ever hoped for. I didn't even know to hope for it, because I didn't know it was missing before, does that make sense? - See I told you there would be rambling ;) I am going to get back to basics. More affirmations, more gratitude, more writing!!! I am so close to 35 lbs lost I can taste it, 0.1 lbs to go. I am almost half way to my goal. I am down to 169.18 lbs as of yesterday! Half way will be at 167.03 lbs. I am going to post now, I've run out of steam.
Bye for now,
1 day ago