Friday, January 28, 2011

I'm Making Things Easy For Myself Now

I was searching the net for some "positive affirmations for weight loss" and I decided to check the first site on the list.  I did this mainly because I want to distract myself from the plate of homemade shortbread in the kitchen.  Mmmmmmmmm!!!  Love It! 
Sorry :)  I got a little sidetracked there ;)   
Anyway, I was saying that I clicked on the first site on the list, and I was going to say that I am glad I did.  Two of the affirmations on this list really stuck out to me. 
The first one was: Losing weight is effortless. 
And the second one was: I'm making things easy for myself now. 
Both of these statements really grabbed my attention.  I know that losing weight is effortless.  I have proven it to myself time and again.  What could be easier than losing weight?  You don't have to really do anything to lose weight.  You just have to not do some things ;)  I mean, sure, exercise is important and it will make you feel better.  But mostly you just have to not eat all the cookies, doughnuts, muffins, chips, crackers, etc., etc., etc. 
Losing weight is effortless, it's the job of convincing myself to do it that is hard.
I swear, all of the work I do is internal.  Continuous arguments back and forth.  Except, instead of having an angel and a devil on my shoulders I have fat me and thin me.  Both clever, both indefatigable, both driving me crazy :) 
Which brings me to the next affirmation that is sticking with me: I'm making things easy for myself now.   
This is how it works, for me at least.  I work through my inner turmoil - enter fatty and skinny :), I convince myself to just do it, then I do it, really!!!, usually for a while, ...and the cycle continues. 
But, for today, I am convinced!  I am going to step away from the struggle, for today, and I am going to just do it already!!!  Today I am definitely making things easy for myself.  Yay :)

Here's the whole list of affirmations if you are interested:
I'm on the road to fitness.
I am feeling thinner today.
I'm losing weight now.
I look and feel lighter today.
I'm enjoying how I'm feeling now.
I love the feeling of making progress.
I love the food that makes me thin.
Losing weight is effortless.
I am going to fit into the next size smaller any minute.
I enjoy being healthy.
I'm making things easy for myself now.
My body is getting stronger, slimmer, and healthier every day.
I feel so thin inside, my outer is just about to catch up.

Hope you are having an easy day too,

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Weigh-In Day

Hi, just a quick post to say I am maintaining - boring, I know :) I want to get back into posting more, but I guess not today. So I will be back soon-ish to update my weekly weigh-in chart, etc. I am doing really well though, so that is good!

Bye for now,

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Weigh-In Day

Hello :) Today is weigh in day and, shockingly, I am here writing my post. My weight this morning is 172.48 lbs. That means I have lost 4.18 lbs this week. I know not to expect this normally, but it was still a nice surprise. Just like Sarah said in a comment to one of my posts "It is amazing how your body can thank you for eating right". Anyway that is it for now. I have a pretty busy day ahead of me and I better get moving. I will be back soon though. I am really happy to be back on track and I plan to keep it going.

Bye for now,

Friday, January 7, 2011

Here's The Story...(part 1)

I really don't know where to start. So I will just write.
I want to put down into words how badly I was doing.  I am definitely using the past tense, because I am over it.  But, if I want to learn from the bad I need to acknowledge it, right? 
I was doing really bad.  I was eating enough to seriously worry me and it was pretty much all junk.  Ugh!  I was eating so much that it hurt and I could feel my body telling me to stop. 
I was stuck.  Deep in self-destructive behaviours. 
I felt overwhelmed and out of control and like I wasn't even the same person. 
I think the scariest part for me was that it (seemingly) came out of nowhere.  It's like I was walking along, doing great, and then I fell in a hole.  Seriously!!!  It was so sudden.  No transition at all.  Scary!  Looking back now I can put my finger on some of the things that were happening and I am sure these things were the beginning of my fall.  But, really, at the time it seemed like I had no control over the things I was doing. 
I don't want to go there again! 
I am glad for this experience though, strange as that may sound.  It showed me a lot of things.  I have really learned from this last misstep and I can't be upset about that. 
One thing that really hit home was the way I felt.  I was eating a lot of sugar, and I felt irritable and headache-y, and really just-plain-miserable.  The reason I say that this hit home is because I realized that I used to feel that way all the time.  Thirty pounds ago this was the way I felt on a day to day basis. 
I thought it was normal!
I didn't even know I was miserable. 
It's funny because as I am writing this I am beginning to tear up.  I feel like I was given the best gift of all for Christmas and it was the gift of perspective. 
I am no longer willing to accept bad things.  I am no longer willing to accept that my body feels weak or worn out or crappy.  I don't have to! 
I am no longer willing to be a slave to sugar.  I didn't even know I was. 
How many times was I cranky and snappish to the people I love because I was being brought down by food, by sugar?!?! 
If I didn't make this misstep I wouldn't know so well that I really am what I eat.  I am so glad that I was able to make this mistake really.  It was scary and it was dark and I seriously thought I may not be able to pull myself out.  But I did!!!  And I think that it was probably the biggest learning experience I have had so far on this journey. 
I have so much more to say, but I think this will be a good start.  I'll be back with more soon.  I really want to dig into those things that I think brought me down and get it all out but that's all for now...

Happy to be back on track,

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Weekly Weigh In (Updated)

Hi :)  Happy New Year!!!  I am still here.  Just doing a lousy job at keeping my blog updated.  Which means, as I am sure you know, that I have not been doing so well.  But that is all for another post, because right now I just want to update all of my weekly weigh-ins that I didn't enter before.  I got the info off my Wii, so the list is officially updated.  Now I will be moving forward.  I have a bunch to tell you about.  So I plan to be back soon and post it.  I started a new challenge, I learned a thing or two about sugar...there are definitely some posts coming.  I am feeling back on track and I am not taking it for granted this time.

Dec.   7 - 177.98 lbs.
Dec. 14 - 178.64 lbs.
Dec. 21 - 174.02 lbs.
Dec. 28 - 175.56 lbs.
Jan.    4 - 176.66 lbs.

Jan.    6 - 174.02 lbs. - And today's weight just because I wanted to make a note of how quickly things change when I start taking care of myself and cutting out all of the junk and the sugary or salty things.  It seems crazy that my weight can change that much in such a short time.  Does this happen to everyone?

Well, anyway, I am all updated and ready to get moving again - happy to be moving on!

Bye for now,