Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Weigh-In Day

Hello :)

Happy Tuesday! I am feeling pretty good today. It is a beautiful day here and I am just feeling good all around. I am really being grateful for everything in my life and just enjoying the good things. I love when I feel this way. Like I can conquer anything. It's funny, that quote by Charles Swindoll that says, 'life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it' is sooooo true!!! I know this for a lot of reasons but lately it is really being reinforced for me. Things have definitely not been going smoothly around here lately and yet I am still happy and cheerful, almost annoyingly so :) First of all we are finally putting a new roof on our house and garage (you should know I am super-cheap so this is a huge deal for me), then our truck which we very recently put almost $1000 into (and that is just recently) conked out on us and we are in the middle of buying a new one. Those are the majors, there is and always will be the other annoying little day to day troubles. But I am still happy and cheerful. I can feel a huge shift going on within me. I am choosing to be happy, and I am living with an attitude of gratitude and it feels good! Okay, now I am starting to annoy myself, lol :) Anyway today is weigh in day so on to it I guess. I am at 192.28 lbs. today. That means I have lost like 1.76 lbs. this week. Happy, happy, joy, joy!!! I will take it. Well I am off to fold the laundry.

Hope you are all as annoyingly cheerful and happy as me today :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sneaky, Sneaky, Sneaky!!!

Hi :)

I am thinking about a lot of things lately. When am I not??? I thought I was doing pretty well with my eating. I am on the lookout for trip-ups and the sneaky little things my inner fat-girl may be trying to toss in my way. I thought I was doing pretty well. But then I realized I am still playing the tomorrow game. This is like when I say to myself, 'I will eat better tomorrow' or, 'I will exercise tomorrow'. I'm sure we all know how that goes. But I thought I was done with that. I was surprised when I found myself thinking just the other day, "When I am at my goal I won't be eating like this". That is exactly-the-same as the tomorrow game. I never even realized I was doing it still. There are still some things I am doing that are sabotaging me, and I tell myself I will stop when I make it to my goal. HUH!?!?!? I am really glad that I spotted this trap. I am looking on the bright side here :) Now that I hear that voice I can shut it down!!! When I hear it I can stop it. I want to make a whole lifestyle change. I do not want to diet. That will not work for me. So I need to start eating the way I will be eating at my goal, now. I will live like I am thin and healthy, eat like I am thin and healthy and then guess what - I will BE thin and healthy!!! I am really glad I spotted that sneaky, backwards thinking. So from now on when I am about to eat something that I don't really want or when I am tempted to just sit by and wait for my goal to come to me I will stop and act. I am going to be more conscious and aware and I am going to live. I am going to move towards my goal and not wait for it to magically get here. I am going to do it. I am such a rambler, huh? I wonder if anyone else can even make sense out of what I am saying. Well I get it, at least :)

One more point for Cara - Yay me!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Weigh-In Day

Happy Tuesday everyone :)

It is raining like crazy outside today and I could turn on a lamp and it wouldn't seem weird. I love gloomy and gray days - sometimes. I have no idea how I did it but my weight today was 194.04 lbs. That is down 4.4 lbs. since last week! I thought I was doing terrible! I am sure it has something to do with my t.o.m., but whatever I am so glad to see the scale moving down. I am just going to be grateful and move on. Today is a good day :)

Hope your today is great!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Weigh-In Day

Tuesday again. It comes so fast, and if I was losing weight I would be happy about this. I am not. Well, I mean, I am unhappy about the not losing weight part. I actually haven't weighed myself today because I haven't been home to do it yet (and I use the Wii - so I can't just hop on it easily) but I can use yesterdays weight. I am up to 198.44 again. I was considering just skipping it today and starting fresh next Tuesday, but I want to hold myself accountable. So it didn't seem like a good idea :) I am NOT giving up!!! I may not be all perky and super-optimistic about it right now, but I am going to do this. I think that in order to keep going I have to keep track of the bad points as well as the good. I am coming up with a game plan, things to do when I feel myself losing focus, and I am definitely not counting myself out. I will be back and on Tuesday the scale WILL NOT show a gain. I will not let excuses stand in my way this week.

Happy Tuesday :) It is rainy and gray here, but I kinda like it.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Bumpy Road

I am having such a hard time right now. I know that this is normal and I thought I was ready for it...but I wasn't. I am soooo frustrated right now. I am angry and irritable. It does not help that it it my t.o.m. - grrrrrrr!!! I have been having some mid-sized binges lately. I say mid-sized because it wasn't as bad as it can get, but it definitely counted. I have been gaining weight one day and losing it the next. I know this because my trusty Wii Fit Plus :) tells me every morning. But who am I kidding, I already know. It is like a battle is going on inside of me. I guess there kind of is. The fat girl in me is scared to get lost and the skinny girl in me is tired of hiding. Fatty always wins! She does not play fair. It feels like every reason I have for being fat - 'cause trust me, fat works for me - is coming up and I am feeling so many things that I hate right now. I am angry at my husband for something that happened seven years ago. Ugh! Seriously, I thought I dealt with this crap already!!! I guess not. It seems like I am fat partly because I am punishing him, how messed up is that?!?!?!? It's like I am staying fat because he deserves a fat wife. How do I get past this without bringing up ancient crap I don't even want to think about? Any ideas? Just kidding - I know I have to figure it out by myself. That is part of the journey, I guess! And I WILL figure it out. Because I am sick and tired of giving up. I am not starting again. This is it! No excuses! I can do this, I will! If tomorrow brings another gain I will just get rid of it again. It's hard right now, but even already on this journey I have felt such good feelings that I know it is going to be worth it. Definitely worth it in the end :)

Hope your journey is easier than mine today :) Happy Friday!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Weigh-In Day

OK, so, today is weigh-in day again - YAY!!! Ummmmm - NOT! :) I am not too happy with today's weight. But, I guess, on the bright side of things I know exactly what happened. So that is good atleast. Now I know what to avoid. Today's weight is 197.34, btw. Yuck, it is a gain. I almost didn't want to post it and I got a bit upset, but then I chilled out. I realize that this is just part of my journey and I can either make excuses and beat myself up, or I can learn and move on. I am choosing to learn and I am choosing to love myself and be a good friend and just move along already. I have work to do :) I know what the issue is, the same one that often trips me up. It usually starts when I eat around certain people. In this case it is my mom. For some reason being around a few certain people makes it so hard to stick to my plan. I am not going to accept this excuse anymore though. Maybe I used to get off track when I was around certain people, but from now on I do not accept this excuse. Because that is exactly what it is. My inner sabotager says, 'you always overeat when your mom is over, or you m.i.l. or your sister', so I let it happen. Then I can just use the same old excuse, but I spotted it this time and I no longer accept this excuse. I find it is easy to stick to my goals no matter who I am around!!! I am definitely going to affirm this often, and I am making sure to keep my eyes open for some of my other usual trip ups:)

Happy Tuesday everyone!!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I AM a Super-Star!!!

Today I am amazed with me :) I had pizza last night, and I did not lose control! That is AMAZING!!! You should know that I LOVE pizza - among other things :) I mean I love it a lot, a whole lot. My husband suggested it for dinner and I was a little worried about how excited I was. The amazing part is that when I realized I was getting too excited about dinner, I stopped and thought. I have never had that much control before. Or, I mean, I have never let myself have that much control before ;) It was a very good feeling. I didn't let myself lose control, I just planned ahead. While my husband went to pick up the pizza I made myself a salad and I committed to having just two pieces. And GUESS WHAT, I ate my salad and then I only had two pieces. That is unheard of around here. Yay me!!! Then after supper we went for a walk! Yeah, I feel a little bit like a super-star, LOL! Whenever I used to have one of my trigger foods I would have a whole inner dialogue going on where my inner sabotager would say things like: "You know you are going to fall off the wagon eventually, you may as well have all the pizza you want now" or "When it's gone you are going to regret not having more", plus a tonne of other bitchy and mean things. I could go on and on and on. It felt really good not to have to listen to her last night. It was a really good example of how I am changing. It isn't just the number on the scale, my whole mindset is undergoing a huge change. I am really happy and glad that I am remembering to congratulate myself for all of the little triumphs along the way :)

Have a great weekend!!!