tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66097314363155323112024-02-18T23:53:16.449-05:00Between The Before & Aftermy weight loss journey...Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-63796720619110410492012-02-03T09:13:00.000-05:002012-02-03T09:13:31.517-05:00If It Is ImportantI have no reasons or excuses for not posting this week. I mean, I could probably give a bunch ;) <br />
But really, I just didn't do it, and that's it. <br />
Next week I want to get my weight posted on Tuesday. If it is really important to me I will do it. <br />
Anyway my weight on Tuesday was 148.92 lbs. <br />
I guess it is safe to say I maintained, since I lost about .022 lbs. <br />
I am not looking to maintain, I would really like to move along, but it is what it is. <br />
And, just like posting my weigh ins, if this is important to me I <i>will</i> do it! No excuses!!! <br />
I have noticed that on weeks when I do my best and try harder I get results, and on weeks that I make excuses and don't really put in much effort........ <br />
I can do this, I just have to convince myself sometimes that I <i>want</i> to :)<br />
It is all about working through the stuff in my head and then all the other stuff seems to fall into place.<br />
I know it sounds really easy, it can be too. I know the things that help me. Affirmations, blogging, being a good friend to myself, being consistent, <i>not </i>making excuses!<br />
A quote keeps popping up for me all over the place. <br />
It is : "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not you'll find an excuse." <br />
So true!<br />
<i>So</i>, let's give this another go, shall we :)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-6529342815048498392012-01-28T14:34:00.000-05:002012-01-28T14:34:58.737-05:00Learning and Snuggles Too :)So, I did <i>not</i> get my workout in yesterday. I said I definitely would and I didn't.<br />
I let a lot of other stuff get in the way, good stuff :), but <i>still</i> I let the day get away from me.<br />
I had a <i>fantastic</i> day, really great, so I cannot complain. But I do see where I could have a done a few things differently and gotten my workout in. So I am going to pay attention :)<br />
First, I decided to let my workout wait when my son woke up early. I chose snuggle time over workout time. I am happy to snuggle, I am sure it helped make the day so fantastic, snuggles are awesome!!! <br />
<i>But</i>, I am sure I could have squeezed my 1/2 hour in there somewhere. Actually I <i>know</i> I could have.<br />
Once I let it slide in the morning it was easier to push it til "later" and then, when I was <i>really</i> busy I didn't end up getting to "later". <br />
So last night at 10:30 I decided to start again this morning and I did. <br />
I left out all the old ugly thinking and just decided to learn from this day.<br />
One day missed is not a catastrophe, as much as I would like to pretend it is and console myself with cookies :) I am doing great and I see how I can plan my workouts better, so it's all good.<br />
That's it!<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-90818404075688384382012-01-27T09:39:00.000-05:002012-01-27T09:39:56.134-05:00Keeping It Up!!!I did my 1/2 hour workout again yesterday and, no surprise, I felt fantastic!!!<br />
I haven't yet today, but it is definitely going to happen.<br />
I had a visit yesterday.<br />
With someone who I like very much and who I have had quite a few really interesting discussions with. Usually after this person leaves I pull out everything I said and analyze it and criticize myself and just, plain, feel like crap!<br />
Yesterday I <i>chose</i> not to do this. I chose to look at everything I said and be<i> kind</i> to myself. I chose to be a friend to me. I used to compare myself and come up lacking. <br />
This time I just chose to be me. <br />
I really believe that every person comes into our lives for a reason.<br />
Yesterday my interaction with this person did a crazy thing for me. I am not sure how, but it was like I was able to just stop and observe myself without criticism or judgment and see how I had really gotten back into the habit of hurting myself. With my thoughts. With my words.<br />
I thought I was past it and yesterday a light was shined. That seems to be happenning a lot lately :) <br />
You know why? I am sure the light was there all along, but now I am <i>looking</i> for it, now I am ready to <i>see</i> it.<br />
Before I would have spent wasted time analyzing words that I can't take back anyway, today I am just grateful that I feel more awake again, more <i>me</i>. <br />
That may have been confusing :) I get rambly when I am trying to work stuff through. <br />
But little by little I am unraveling this issue again. <br />
I am happy to do it. <br />
I am just, really feeling grateful today. It is <i>so</i> nice. Life is better when I live it with gratitude :)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-66486907309535181532012-01-25T15:03:00.000-05:002012-01-25T15:03:25.699-05:00Working Out Feels Good....Who knew???<br />
Uh, ME!!! :)<br />
So, why haven't I been doing it for so long?<br />
I think I may have gathered some insight into that.<br />
This morning I got on the Wii and I did my 1/2 hour and it wasn't a hard workout or anything, not such a huge deal, but I felt good. <i>Really</i> good!!!<br />
I was happier today, noticeably, and just feeling really good!<br />
I like this feeling , I want to keep it :)<br />
I think the reason I quit doing things that make me feel so good is as simple and as complicated as this: I feel guilty when I am happy, and I don't feel like I deserve it!<br />
Huh!<br />
I thought I had worked that one through already when I wrote my post on <a href="http://betweenbeforeafter.blogspot.com/2010/09/deserving.html" target="">deserving</a>.<br />
I guess I need a refresher :) <br />
I am ready to be as happy as I can, I am ready to make being happy my full time job :) <br />
I deserve it, we <i>all</i> do! <br />
I will not hold myself back any longer. I am making a commitment to myself.<br />
I will get back to working through my stuff and most of all to loving and accepting me. <br />
It is way past time. <br />
I <i>am</i> deserving!!!<br />
I guess I could have just said that I completed my workout, and it felt good, and I have completed day one, but I guess I had some other stuff to say too :)<br />
<br />
That's all for today!<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-76194626667529426472012-01-24T09:25:00.000-05:002012-01-24T09:25:01.464-05:00Weigh-In DayHappy Tuesday :)<br />
That means it is weigh in day, and I am happy to be keeping up with my posts!<br />
My weight this morning was 148.94 lbs.<br />
The scale is moving down, but I am not satisfied with how I <i>feel</i>.<br />
I know that I can do better and feel better, so I think it is time to kick things up a notch and start working out again. I just feel so much better when I do.<br />
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see the scale moving down, but now, for me, it is more about how my body <i>feels</i>.<br />
Right now I feel kind of sluggish, lazy, tired and flabby. I am ready to feel fabulous again :)<br />
<i>So</i>, because I am Cara, and because I like to keep things simple, I am going to do what works for me :)<br />
I will be doing one of the following everyday: 30 minutes of Wii Fit Plus or The <strike>Horrible and Dreaded</strike> 30 Day Shred. Gotta love Jillian :) <br />
I am sure we all know which one I will choose most days, for a while at least ;) <br />
That's it, nothing crazy or drastic. I usually find that just doing one of these two every day gets me moving in so many other ways. I feel better all around, and it feels easy. So, I like :)<br />
That's all for today!<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-54293029886377958822012-01-17T11:04:00.000-05:002012-01-17T11:04:19.461-05:00Weigh-In DayTuesday is here again, and so it is weigh-in day. <br />
I am really happy to be back to posting. Even if it has only been keeping my weight updated it still feels good :)<br />
This morning my weight was down again and I feel like I am doing pretty well. <br />
I am working through the head stuff and, as usual, my weight reflects that :) <br />
I know what works for me and right now I am working it. <br />
I have been feeling the burning desire to work out (it hits me every so often). Crazy, I know ;) <br />
It is flickering and I am just going to have to jump in and get to it. <br />
Right now I am just concentrating on my food, but I know that the ball is starting to roll and I am feeling so glad to get going again. <br />
Anyway, enough rambling, on to the weight. <br />
This morning I am at 150.26 lbs.<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-44309367399057451922012-01-11T21:25:00.000-05:002012-01-11T21:25:12.665-05:00Weigh-In Day...was yesterday, of course :) But, I am posting my weight today, because apparently I am a procrastinator :) My weight yesterday was 151.36 lbs. It feels nice to be getting back on track and I am thinking of a few new ideas and goals. That's it for now. I just wanted to make sure to keep things updated :)<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-66589068895321149282012-01-04T21:11:00.000-05:002012-01-04T21:11:35.145-05:00Ready :)Alrighty, I am officially updated:) <br />
I have my weekly weigh-in posted, I updated my tracker, I am ready to go. <br />
Oh, yeah, I did my Ticker too. I do have to admit that I winced a little when my Ticker jumped from 16.5 lbs left up to 22.7, but I am going to keep it real :)<br />
Still feeling good!<br />
I really had to drag myself into it this time, and fake it for a while. <br />
But it is paying off, everyday I am a little more in control again, a little more confident, a little more......<i>ready</i> :)<br />
That's all for tonight, still feeling groovy :)<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-22973187853146314162012-01-03T21:00:00.000-05:002012-01-03T21:00:51.617-05:00Weekly Weigh-InI was just about to log off the internet when it suddenly occurred to me that: <br />
1) It is Tuesday<br />
2) I weighed myself this morning <br />
3) If I just post it on here really quick, <i>right now</i>, I will have started. <br />
So here I am starting my weekly weigh-ins again :) <br />
This morning my weight was down to 152.68 lbs. Not all the way back to my lowest, but who cares? <br />
I am starting again and it feels good!!!<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-12291671844602570402011-12-24T01:00:00.000-05:002011-12-24T01:00:29.019-05:00I Did Not ForgetI fully intended to post my weight yesterday and update my goal. I remembered when I was an hour away from home. Christmas shopping, a family dinner, and other hectic things got in the way :) But, I am here now to post my restarting weight. It is 155.54 lbs. Up about nine or so pounds from my lowest weight. It kinda sucks. I am tired, so I am going to bed, and will post more later. I really feel great about where I am and where I am heading :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-6367160738092216242011-12-22T00:18:00.000-05:002011-12-22T00:18:00.161-05:00So, Here's The Deal......I really, <i>really</i> want to eat. A <i>lot</i>.<br />
A lot of stuff, I mean.<br />
Ugh!!!<br />
It is <i>terrible</i>. <br />
This feeling I get sometimes that I am helpless? Or that I'm a passenger. <br />
Just watching out the window. <br />
See the train wreck? :) <br />
<i>Anyway</i>, it is getting old. <br />
I have done a remarkable amount of backsliding in a really short amount of time.<br />
I feel like <i>JUNK</i>!!! Seriously!<br />
Really, <i>really</i> terrible. I have been eating the worst things, awful stuff.<br />
The worst part is that I do not even enjoy this junk anymore yet I am still eating, eating, eating... <br />
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow and post my weight here.<br />
No matter <i>how</i> scary it is :)<br />
I am going to weigh myself every day and I am going to start posting it again weekly until I reach my goal.<br />
I am going to get <i>serious</i>. Seriously! :)<br />
I will be back tomorrow with my weight and some new goals to get me started again.<br />
Today I was thinking about this journey and how ready I am to be at my goal. <br />
I was going to plan my resolution and give the New Year a <i>great</i> start. <br />
And then I thought - <i>Why wait</i>? <br />
Why not just start right now. <br />
So I am. <br />
<br />
'Til tomorrow,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-63642991922531024972011-12-14T15:27:00.000-05:002011-12-14T15:27:24.747-05:00My Belt Is Not My FriendMy pants are uncomfortably tight and my belt is not my friend :( <br />
This is <i>not</i> going to be a problem.<br />
It is a wake up call. A reminder. A friendly kick in the butt :)<br />
Get moving! Now!<br />
Get.<br />
Moving. <i> </i><br />
<i>Now</i>.<br />
Do not wait, do not let it slide any more, <i>pay attention</i>! <br />
So I <i>am</i>.<br />
I am paying attention. <br />
I see what is happening. I see how I am letting all of my old bad habits and behaviours slide in, take over. <br />
I am slipping back to <i>before</i>. Correction, I <i>was </i>slipping. Now? <i>Now</i> I am paying attention :)<br />
I read over some of my posts from last year and I am going to keep doing it. I need to take a refresher course. <br />
I am full of thoughts and plans and excitement. <br />
I am planning on posting more often and getting back to the basics. <br />
Back to what works for me. <br />
This is it for right now. <br />
My pants are tight, I don't like how it feels, and there you have it....blog post!!! :)<br />
But, seriously, I want to remember how it feels to backslide. Even a little bit. It feels <i>really</i> crappy!!!<br />
Pretty darn crappy, indeed!<br />
So, enough of that :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-2328396716764238952011-12-02T10:06:00.000-05:002011-12-02T10:06:33.772-05:00GRRRRR!!!I am thinking of shutting my blog down, or making it private, or taking some other drastic action right now. <i>So</i>, I will probably give it some time, cool off, and then decide what to do. The day after my last post I went to sign in to my blog and was told that Google had shut me down because they didn't believe I was older than 13. They said I had changed my birthday (<i>I</i> didn't), so I am a little concerned that someone else may have had access to my account. It has taken me <i>all this time</i> to get the situation straightened out. There have been a couple of other issues, mainly a spammy comment situation that had me worried, and right now I am not feeling too confident about this blogging thing :) Anyway, I just wanted to post about where I, and my blog, have been. It was really upsetting to think that all of the posts I had written and all of my tracking was gone. On another note I have been keeping track of my weight and I am maintaining. I am pretty sure I will be back but for right now....grrrrrr!!! :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-49746858320996449802011-11-12T10:55:00.000-05:002011-11-12T10:55:44.189-05:00I Was ScaredHello :)<br />
In my last <a href="http://betweenbeforeafter.blogspot.com/2011/11/here-i-go-again.html">post</a> I mentioned that I was going to weigh myself on Tuesday and that I was going to start my weekly weigh-ins again until I reach my goal.<br />
I wasn't <i>lying</i>, I had every intention of weighing myself on Tuesday. <br />
But then Tuesday came and I was.......<i>scared!!!</i> I was <i>scared</i> to step on that stupid thing and post my weight here again and it felt like a big. huge. deal. <br />
Silly me :) Sometimes that side of me still takes over, I <strike>guess</strike> know. <br />
<i>So</i>, because I really <i>do</i> want to get moving again I just stepped on the scale this morning. For some reason just doing that one little thing makes me feel more powerful. <br />
When I do not weigh in it is because I am worried, nervous, doubtful, anxious, <i>scared,</i> etc., etc., etc. <br />
So just the act of stepping on the scale is like taking back some of the control. <br />
Whether the number is a good one - you know what I mean :) - or a bad one, I have faced it and I am not just wondering. For me it is always a step forward.<br />
So, needless to say, I am happy I did it. <br />
Now I feel like I am aware, and I have a new start, and I am ready to move again! <br />
I am up about 2 lbs. from my absolute lowest (my crazy head had me convinced it was more like 15 lbs.) <br />
My official weight this morning is 148.52 lbs. <br />
Tuesday I will post my weight on my chart and I am not letting my fear stop me. <br />
You know if this journey wasn't so consuming and frustrating it would really be quite fascinating. I am figuring out so much about myself and I am actually amazed sometimes with the things I learn. <br />
Anyway, that's it for today :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-44122408745960448112011-11-02T10:27:00.000-04:002011-11-02T10:27:59.651-04:00Here I Go Again!!!Hello :)<br />
In the last month I have started many posts and not finished them. I guess I have writer's block :)<br />
I have been figuring some stuff out and maintaining my weight (with a little self-sabotage here and there). <br />
I really feel like I know myself like I never have before. I am <i>really</i> aware now. This makes some days hard, because I know that I am the main cause of my difficulties. But, in general every day is getting better and I am realizing more and more that I was in control all along.<br />
I <i>do</i> have power and I am ready to get going again!!! <br />
I have realized that on the days I struggle it is usually because I am making things harder than they have to be. If I stick to the basics and do simple things it all flows smoothly and I move along. When I try to make huge changes and shake things up, or if I am hard on myself, I don't move <i>at all</i>. <br />
I am going to start reading back over some of my earlier post and begin again with the basics :) I'll put my money where my mouth is and take some of my own advice! It got me this far! <br />
I have a feeling that I am 'struggling' now because once I have gotten to my goal - then what?!?!?! <br />
I have to reassess my goals, come up with some new ones and get this bus moving again. <br />
I am more than ready to get going.<br />
So far the plan is to start back up with my weekly weigh-ins. I think it is time. I will stick with Tuesdays, why not? So next Tuesday will be weigh in day and I will keep it up until I reach my goal.<br />
If I come up with any more plans I will keep you posted but for now it is going to be to keep it simple, be a <i>great</i> friend to myself, and just <i>do</i> it.<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-46001091365978260692011-09-19T18:50:00.000-04:002011-09-19T18:50:06.655-04:00Progress Pics - 50 lbs. Lost!!! :)Hi again :)<br />
<br />
I kept meaning to put progress pics up when I lost 40 lbs. and I never ended up doing it. <br />
I am not skipping it this time! I have officially lost 50 lbs!!! I am <i>so</i> excited! <br />
I have made it almost 75% of the way to my goal and as of this morning I only need to lose 18.94 lbs. to get there. <br />
WOW!!! <br />
It almost seems unbelievable to me. <br />
<br />
Anyway here are some pics:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFhrsCYPobBK2PQu40dKeue9ugz49UI2fPrJIbPklTFZ9Za94IgyeLWLiW8FS4PYCtU9l8JrijXRNOtw1DM8BRM1qJrYbs7zi7P5ySPL4UneRfRSgbeOuF9YOdQrK-gvBU03bXFT94jxI/s1600/Cara50pro2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFhrsCYPobBK2PQu40dKeue9ugz49UI2fPrJIbPklTFZ9Za94IgyeLWLiW8FS4PYCtU9l8JrijXRNOtw1DM8BRM1qJrYbs7zi7P5ySPL4UneRfRSgbeOuF9YOdQrK-gvBU03bXFT94jxI/s320/Cara50pro2.jpg" width="177" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> My daughter says I am making a weird face in this one, she's right :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuG6-OruAeyPcVit5NShdxQndAjRVozDN7NTO9eTpYhxaGxRcoyl20ZGLHLaZDIrUQ2q3-hX1yjNM0cxqh_pgECsChX_tdKqKukLb9SnVtLrfCTyIIjGkuyswwv-0aLzEMYbywx1_mO71/s1600/Cara50pro3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuG6-OruAeyPcVit5NShdxQndAjRVozDN7NTO9eTpYhxaGxRcoyl20ZGLHLaZDIrUQ2q3-hX1yjNM0cxqh_pgECsChX_tdKqKukLb9SnVtLrfCTyIIjGkuyswwv-0aLzEMYbywx1_mO71/s320/Cara50pro3.jpg" width="117" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am feeling really great! </div><div style="text-align: left;">Kind of all brand new, and I like it :) </div><div style="text-align: left;">I know that I am doing this and I know that I am going to be at my goal soon. </div><div style="text-align: left;">It feels <i>really</i> nice.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-72251879146594248232011-09-18T09:54:00.000-04:002011-09-18T09:54:04.731-04:00So Excited!!!I am <i>really</i> excited right now!<br />
I have had a pretty long and difficult summer and I am still working through some stuff. <i>Hard</i> stuff! But I am doing really well with my weight loss, and that is amazing!<br />
In the old days when I was in any sort of emotional discomfort my weight would reflect that - and <i>not</i> in a good way! <br />
I have been feeling pretty low for the last few months and I am <i>still</i> sticking to my goals. I still mess up, but in general I have stuck to it. This is<i> huge</i>!!!<br />
And it is paying off!<br />
Last night I got into my wedding dress, <i>and</i> zipped it up! I was <i>shocked! </i><br />
That has been a goal of mine ever since I started gaining this weight, and I did it!<br />
Then I weighed myself this morning and finally, <i>finally</i>, the Wii said my weight was <i>NORMAL!!!</i><br />
I have been waiting for this day since I first stepped on that balance board and was told that I was obese. I did it!!!<br />
I know that I haven't been blogging a lot and I know that I have been stumbling, I almost didn't post this because I hate it to seem like I only write when I am happy with my weight.<br />
But I am excited and happy and I like the feeling. <br />
I am going to keep it going!<br />
I really do want to dig into some of the crap that I was dealing with this summer and I do want to write a post about depression, but today I am excited.<br />
So this is it :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-89220006225769905362011-09-07T13:16:00.000-04:002011-09-07T13:16:44.914-04:00My Picture NSV :)Hi :) Wow, it has been a while since I've posted.<br />
I have so many things going on right now but I am basically just <i>living</i>. As boring as that sounds :)<br />
I do have a big post swirling around in my head. I want to share some of my thoughts on depression and let you know what I've been up to. I also want to update my weight and get this bus moving again :)<br />
But not today! Today I just want to share a really important, <i>to me</i>, NSV.<br />
My husband and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend. On Saturday my daughter took our picture and it is the first picture I have liked of us, well of <i>me</i> really, since our wedding day.<br />
That was a pretty big deal. It feels really nice :)<br />
I am officially at fifty pounds lost now. So I am going to take a picture and update. <br />
I am ready to get moving again :) <br />
I thought I would share my NSV pic with you guys, I didn't ask my husband if he minded, so don't tell him ;)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTM2zikFjjlKWYp7PdM-rH0tqqpkCFUtW9rVTJ66IJnCeqyzKNtXUHy9NdbrOElzjwCII6mxqBQgW03ql2fXCMM1L3JOfsC5rp9pDQTxwaIOhZ5uiUJRscpD4koHoOMucG-EVM1K1ZyZUP/s1600/JonCaraSept2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTM2zikFjjlKWYp7PdM-rH0tqqpkCFUtW9rVTJ66IJnCeqyzKNtXUHy9NdbrOElzjwCII6mxqBQgW03ql2fXCMM1L3JOfsC5rp9pDQTxwaIOhZ5uiUJRscpD4koHoOMucG-EVM1K1ZyZUP/s320/JonCaraSept2011.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Have a great day!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-28848535446232829492011-07-29T15:40:00.000-04:002011-07-29T15:40:59.426-04:00Taking Out The GarbageI am <i>so</i> glad I finally sat down and blogged the other day.<br />
I know that my <a href="http://betweenbeforeafter.blogspot.com/2011/07/choices-changes-and-other-scary-things.html">post</a> was moody and depressing and rambly, but it helped me to get it down.<br />
I keep reading it over and it is a lot of stuff that I didn't even know I was feeling.<br />
In my head I was getting frustrated and feeling overwhelmed. I was over analyzing, and going around in circles, and basically just making things harder for myself. Sometimes I do that ;)<br />
I needed to take out the garbage and start fresh.<br />
Nothing is ever as hard as I make it seem in my head. Not even close. Plus, am I <i>really</i> thinking of quitting? No!!! Not even a little.<br />
Things are confusing right now, and I feel like I am on fast forward sometimes, but I know that I am heading in the right direction for me.<br />
Change is good, I know this :) I read this quote today on facebook and it seemed really fitting right now:<br />
<br />
"Change - It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk."<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">~ Leo Buscaglia</span></span><br />
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">I know this. I know that it is worth it, and I am going to keep moving forward :)</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Happy Friday everyone :)</span></span></h6><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-59522118641692808772011-07-26T16:49:00.000-04:002011-07-26T16:49:23.732-04:00Choices, Changes And Other Scary Things :)I feel like I don't know who I am sometimes.<br />
I feel scared.<br />
I am <i>really</i> tired of it.<br />
<br />
My moods are all over the place and it is <i>so</i> frustrating. <br />
On good days I am positive and moving forward and I feel like I can face anything because I am heading in the right direction. I <i>know</i> that I am strong and capable. I am <i>doing</i> it. I am making it easy for myself and I am feeling great! <br />
On bad days...not so much.<br />
<br />
I feel like I am under a microscope, I am over analyzing <i>everything.</i> <br />
I have learned a lot about myself and why I behave the way I do. <i>So</i>, when I am in a bad place and being really self destructive, I am aware enough now that I can see myself doing it. You would think that that would make it easier, <i>right</i>? I can <i>see </i>myself eating because someone hurt my feelings, or because I am pissed off (more likely lately) or I can see myself picking a fight with my husband and I know what is going on, so I stop, <i>right</i>? Ummmmmm - NO!!!! Not <i>me</i>. I keep right on being self destructive and I continue the cycle. <br />
<br />
I have made so many changes. <br />
A lot of them are easy to see :) <br />
But <i>most</i> of them are not. Most of them are inside of me. <br />
I feel like I have to work on my inside stuff and the outside stuff will work itself out accordingly ;) <br />
<br />
Because of all these changes I find myself looking around sometimes and wondering who's life this is.<br />
Can it really be mine? <br />
I can hardly explain it, but the Cara I was a year ago liked to hide. It seems that my whole life has been engineered so that I could hide away from the world. The weight, the fact that I chose to stay at home after I had my kids, the fact that I let all of my friends drift away over the years. I turned my home into a very quiet hiding place, now it seems like a really comfortable cage. <br />
<br />
I am <i>not</i> that girl. I am <i>not</i>! <br />
<br />
I don't want to hide, I don't want to be alone all the time. I don't even like <i>t.v.</i> anymore! I don't even know that girl. I tried to explain to my husband that it would be like letting someone else pick out your whole life and then you just move into it. It sounds mean though. I sound ungrateful and, I am worried, <i>crazy</i>! <br />
How can I feel like this? I am the same person, <i>aren't I</i>? <br />
Sometimes I feel so confused that I have no words and I am quiet. <br />
<br />
As I write this out I hear how weird it sounds, but I am also starting to figure it out. When I typed the words 'I am <i>not</i> that girl' it sort of clicked.<br />
I keep feeling like I have a choice right now. <br />
I can go back to the way things were and back to that girl who fits into this life comfortably or I can keep moving on and adjust my life accordingly. <br />
Pretty obvious, now that it's out there like that :) <br />
<br />
Either way I chose it is going to be a struggle. <br />
To go back would be <i>horrible</i>. To feel that way again. So miserable, so alone, so sad. But it would have it's perks too. All I can eat, <i>really</i>! I <i>know</i> it works for me, it must have. I can slide back in so easily, I know how it all goes. <br />
To keep moving on, though. That will be hard and scary for different reasons, but still hard and scary. For starters, I <i>do not</i> like change. Even good changes freak me out a bit. <br />
I am new at this confidence thing, it takes confidence to change and grow and move forward. <br />
What if my husband and I grow apart as I change? <br />
<br />
I know that this is really sounding ridiculous, it is to me now :) <br />
But these are all of the things that are swirling around in my brain. <br />
Obviously I <i>do</i> have a choice, but I probably don't have to make it the big thing that I have been. It is a decision that I have to keep making everyday and over time, just as always, things will start to work their way to where they are supposed to be. <br />
<br />
So, <i>anyway</i>...that was a bit of a rambler, huh? <br />
I am a little embarrassed to post this one, but I am gonna keep it real :) <br />
I think I may have a pretty good handle on what is going on now, anyways. <br />
So that is good! <br />
<br />
I hope your days are sunny and a lot less complicated than I make mine :)<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-6314413405210205672011-06-30T19:27:00.000-04:002011-06-30T19:27:27.729-04:00Am I Struggling?I was thinking about this earlier.<br />
I have been eating a bit more junk food than usual lately. I feel a little tighter in the waist area. It <i>is</i> that time of the month, but I am pretty sure that junk food is the culprit.<br />
So <i>anyway, </i>I was standing in the kitchen just now, and I was wondering - 'Am I struggling?'<br />
I have been having this thought a lot over the last week or so. It pops into my head and out again just as quickly. Just an annoying little blip. Something to be easily quieted with a cookie...or three.<br />
But just now, when that question popped into my head, I stopped. I thought. And I had a flash of what 'struggling' feels like. The 'accidental' overeating, the guilt, the shame, the anger, the <i>stomach aches </i>;) <br />
Did I really want that? <i>Do </i>I really want that?<br />
Do I <i>prefer</i> feeling that way?<br />
Ummmmmmmm......NO!!!<br />
If I choose to struggle, then I am choosing <i>those</i> consequences. I <i>choose</i> to feel awful.<br />
Over the last week or so, when I would wonder if I was struggling, I would recall the three cookies I ate earlier, or the extra snack, or <i>whatever</i> and I would think - "Yes, I <i>am </i>struggling", and so I did. That question started the cycle each time. It was kind of like I was giving myself permission to fail.<br />
I don't know what caused all of this to flash into my head just now. I am just glad that it did. I am glad that I stopped and <i>really</i> thought about it.<br />
<i>Am</i> I struggling?<br />
Of course not!<br />
I am <i>choosing</i> to not struggle.<br />
I so much prefer to <i>not </i>struggle. I feel better. I feel <i>fabulous.</i> I feel more confident, I sleep better, I am <i>so much</i> happier, <i>plus</i> - I lose weight!!!<br />
So, <i>of course, </i>I am not struggling. Just in case you were wondering ;)<br />
Is it that easy?<br />
I really think it can be!<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-26569015053052611622011-06-14T14:19:00.000-04:002011-06-14T14:19:57.724-04:00Feeling Fabulous!!!I have not been posting very much at all lately, but I refuse to feel bad about it :) Because, I am feeling really fabulous! <br />
I am maintaining right now, but I am <i>so</i> happy with where my head is. <br />
<br />
I am having a lot of fun playing with clothes and putting new outfits together. This has really been helping to keep me on track. Who knew clothes could be so fun and motivating?!? I am eating really well and I am squeezing exercise in wherever I can. Doing lots of fun and active family stuff! <br />
Things are going really well and I am happy. <i>So</i>, how can I feel bad about not blogging? <br />
<br />
Right now I am just focusing on family and working around the house. I am on a mission to de-clutter. Not just the places that are seen (the way I usually do) I mean I have been attacking the clutter everywhere. In every. single. closet. It feels really good. I am letting go of a lot of stuff. I am feeling free and happy and pretty confident. <br />
<br />
I am not going to try and figure out how to maintain this feeling (like last time). I am just going to enjoy it, and go with it, and see where it leads me. <br />
<br />
I guess I did have a little post in my head :)<br />
I keep thinking that I don't really have much to write. <br />
<br />
Anyway I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. <br />
I am not doing really badly and hiding it (like in the past) <br />
I am just happy, and busy, and moving along.<br />
<br />
I hope to get writing more, but I am not going to make any guarantees or time limits.<br />
I know how that ends up and I will not go there. <br />
<br />
I am making good choices and just enjoying life. <br />
It feels really good :)<br />
<br />
Happy Tuesday!<br />
(Oh, and that means it is weigh in day! I will have to update my chart a.s.a.p. but nothing really exciting is happening in that particular area - happily maintaining for the time being) <br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-1643336226646697842011-05-28T16:27:00.000-04:002011-05-28T16:27:22.854-04:00Weird!I know I have a post in this head somewhere and I am going to type until it comes out :) <br />
<br />
I have been noticing a huge difference in the way people treat me lately. Does this happen to you too? I feel like everyone around me is treating me differently. Some people seem to think I am some sort of 'Diet Guru' or something, and they want to know my "secret". I <i>hate</i> this! Not because I don't want to be helpful, but because it seems like no matter what I say it is always the opposite of helpful. <br />
<br />
If I start talking about positive thinking and visualizing I can seriously see their eyes glazing over. I am sure I sound like a crazy person and the conversation is almost always uncomfortable. <br />
<br />
I have had people tell me that I look really good, but kind of in an accusatory way. If that makes sense. Some try to explain to me why it is harder for them to do it, almost like I am judging them - which I would never do! I still feel the same inside, but I am treated SO differently. It is a little surreal. <br />
<br />
I am sure everyone that is losing weight deals with this, but it is not at all like I expected it to be. I thought that everyone around me would be happy for me and supportive, and a lot are. But some people seem to be really uncomfortable around me now. It makes me feel bad sometimes.<br />
<br />
It just occurred to me that the old Cara would use this as an excuse to quit. Something like "hey, you are drawing attention to yourself", or "you are making people uncomfortable, you should stop". I will not! <i>But</i> I wish that I was better at dealing with these changes. It seems like right now my body is changing faster than my mind or something.<br />
<br />
I still have self esteem issues, shocking I know :) I feel like the fat girl and everyone is treating me like I am someone else, it is hard to wrap my head around. I usually feel like I am stumbling along, and making it up as I go and suddenly I am treated like I have all the answers. Weird! <br />
<br />
Well, that's it for now I guess. I almost feel like I am being mean or something if I post this. But it is where I am at right now, so it is getting posted.<br />
<br />
Happy Saturday :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-35559991822120385132011-05-24T21:57:00.000-04:002011-05-24T21:57:07.200-04:00Weigh-In DayHello.<br />
I am here on weigh in day, it's like a miracle or something :)<br />
I updated my weekly weight chart and my weight today is 161.48 lbs. <br />
I am ready to go!<br />
My weight has gone up and down a bit in the last month. I let stress consume me and than I, in turn, consumed too much :) That's something I do sometimes still I guess. Yuck!!! But good to know.<br />
<i>Anyway</i>, I wanted to get a post done today before I hop into bed. I am <i>so</i> tired. It is a good tired though :)<br />
It has nothing to do with stress or drama and everything to do with physical activity. Yay!!! :) It feels good.<br />
I'll be back soon! <br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6609731436315532311.post-45376489708029501892011-05-19T10:34:00.000-04:002011-05-19T10:34:35.832-04:00Hello Again :)I am very glad to be back here. <br />
I have been dealing with a lot of stuff around here and I have been stressed and worried and I have not focused on my health or this journey <i>at all</i>, really. I am ready to change that! <br />
<br />
My last post mentioned that we had a sick family member, it was my Mother In Law, and I am very sad to post that she passed away on May 3rd. She was amazing and I will miss her every day. She was like a second mother and a really great friend to me. The person I would call to talk about anything. I really love her. <i>So</i>, I have been sad, and mopey, and all kinds of depressing lately. But I am ready to stop that.<br />
<br />
I have so many things to say, but nothing is coming out properly, so I will leave it there for now. I plan to be all updated and ready to go for Weigh-In Day on Tuesday. My weight today is 160.82 lbs. I am working out 30 min./day on the Wii. I am ready to get moving again :)<br />
<br />
Bye for now,<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/204/7F19BB1FE1DA0D4A1446B9C0EA749DAF.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150755557433507321noreply@blogger.com0