If It Is Important

I have no reasons or excuses for not posting this week. I mean, I could probably give a bunch ;) 
But really, I just didn't do it, and that's it. 
Next week I want to get my weight posted on Tuesday.  If it is really important to me I will do it. 
Anyway my weight on Tuesday was 148.92 lbs. 
I guess it is safe to say I maintained, since I lost about .022 lbs. 
I am not looking to maintain, I would really like to move along, but it is what it is. 
And, just like posting my weigh ins, if this is important to me I will do it!  No excuses!!! 
I have noticed that on weeks when I do my best and try harder I get results, and on weeks that I make excuses and don't really put in much effort........ 
I can do this, I just have to convince myself sometimes that I want to :)
It is all about working through the stuff in my head and then all the other stuff seems to fall into place.
I know it sounds really easy, it can be too.  I know the things that help me.  Affirmations, blogging, being a good friend to myself, being consistent, not making excuses!
A quote keeps popping up for me all over the place. 
It is :  "If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not you'll find an excuse." 
So true!
So, let's give this another go, shall we :)

Weigh-In Day

Happy Tuesday :)
That means it is weigh in day, and I am happy to be keeping up with my posts!
My weight this morning was 148.94 lbs.
The scale is moving down, but I am not satisfied with how I feel.
I know that I can do better and feel better, so I think it is time to kick things up a notch and start working out again. I just feel so much better when I do.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see the scale moving down, but now, for me, it is more about how my body feels.
Right now I feel kind of sluggish, lazy, tired and flabby.  I am ready to feel fabulous again :)
So, because I am Cara, and because I like to keep things simple, I am going to do what works for me :)
I will be doing one of the following everyday: 30 minutes of Wii Fit Plus or The Horrible and Dreaded 30 Day Shred.  Gotta love Jillian :) 
I am sure we all know which one I will choose most days, for a while at least ;) 
That's it, nothing crazy or drastic.  I usually find that just doing one of these two every day gets me moving in so many other ways.  I feel better all around, and it feels easy.  So, I like :)
That's all for today!

Weigh-In Day

Tuesday is here again, and so it is weigh-in day.
I am really happy to be back to posting. Even if it has only been keeping my weight updated it still feels good :)
This morning my weight was down again and I feel like I am doing pretty well.
I am working through the head stuff and, as usual, my weight reflects that :)
I know what works for me and right now I am working it.
I have been feeling the burning desire to work out (it hits me every so often). Crazy, I know ;)
It is flickering and I am just going to have to jump in and get to it.
Right now I am just concentrating on my food, but I know that the ball is starting to roll and I am feeling so glad to get going again.
Anyway, enough rambling, on to the weight.
This morning I am at 150.26 lbs.

Bye for now,

Weekly Weigh-In

I was just about to log off the internet when it suddenly occurred to me that:
1)  It is Tuesday
2)  I weighed myself this morning
3)  If I just post it on here really quick, right now, I will have started.
So here I am starting my weekly weigh-ins again :)
This morning my weight was down to 152.68 lbs. Not all the way back to my lowest, but who cares?
I am starting again and it feels good!!!

Bye for now,

I Did Not Forget

I fully intended to post my weight yesterday and update my goal. I remembered when I was an hour away from home. Christmas shopping, a family dinner, and other hectic things got in the way :) But, I am here now to post my restarting weight. It is 155.54 lbs. Up about nine or so pounds from my lowest weight. It kinda sucks. I am tired, so I am going to bed, and will post more later. I really feel great about where I am and where I am heading :)

Bye for now,

So, Here's The Deal......

I really, really want to eat.  A lot.
A lot of stuff, I mean.
Ugh!!!
It is terrible. 
This feeling I get sometimes that I am helpless?  Or that I'm a passenger. 
Just watching out the window. 
See the train wreck? :) 
Anyway, it is getting old.
I have done a remarkable amount of backsliding in a really short amount of time.
I feel like JUNK!!! Seriously!
Really, really terrible. I have been eating the worst things, awful stuff.
The worst part is that I do not even enjoy this junk anymore yet I am still eating, eating, eating... 
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow and post my weight here.
No matter how scary it is :)
I am going to weigh myself every day and I am going to start posting it again weekly until I reach my goal.
I am going to get serious. Seriously! :)
I will be back tomorrow with my weight and some new goals to get me started again.
Today I was thinking about this journey and how ready I am to be at my goal. 
I was going to plan my resolution and give the New Year a great start. 
And then I thought - Why wait? 
Why not just start right now. 
So I am. 

'Til tomorrow,

My Belt Is Not My Friend

My pants are uncomfortably tight and my belt is not my friend :( 
This is not going to be a problem.
It is a wake up call. A reminder. A friendly kick in the butt :)
Get moving! Now!
Get.
Moving.  
Now.
Do not wait, do not let it slide any more, pay attention! 
So I am.
I am paying attention. 
I see what is happening.  I see how I am letting all of my old bad habits and behaviours slide in, take over. 
I am slipping back to before.  Correction, I was slipping.  Now?  Now I am paying attention :)
I read over some of my posts from last year and I am going to keep doing it.  I need to take a refresher course. 
I am full of thoughts and plans and excitement. 
I am planning on posting more often and getting back to the basics. 
Back to what works for me. 
This is it for right now. 
My pants are tight, I don't like how it feels, and there you have it....blog post!!!  :)
But, seriously, I want to remember how it feels to backslide.  Even a little bit.  It feels really crappy!!!
Pretty darn crappy, indeed!
So, enough of that :)

Bye for now,

I Was Scared

Hello :)
In my last post I mentioned that I was going to weigh myself on Tuesday and that I was going to start my weekly weigh-ins again until I reach my goal.
I wasn't lying, I had every intention of weighing myself on Tuesday. 
But then Tuesday came and I was.......scared!!!   I was scared to step on that stupid thing and post my weight here again and it felt like a big. huge. deal. 
Silly me :)  Sometimes that side of me still takes over, I guess know. 
So, because I really do want to get moving again I just stepped on the scale this morning.  For some reason just doing that one little thing makes me feel more powerful. 
When I do not weigh in it is because I am worried, nervous, doubtful, anxious, scared, etc., etc., etc. 
So just the act of stepping on the scale is like taking back some of the control. 
Whether the number is a good one - you know what I mean :) - or a bad one, I have faced it and I am not just wondering.  For me it is always a step forward.
So, needless to say, I am happy I did it. 
Now I feel like I am aware, and I have a new start, and I am ready to move again! 
I am up about 2 lbs. from my absolute lowest (my crazy head had me convinced it was more like 15 lbs.) 
My official weight this morning is 148.52 lbs. 
Tuesday I will post my weight on my chart and I am not letting my fear stop me.
You know if this journey wasn't so consuming and frustrating it would really be quite fascinating.  I am figuring out so much about myself and I am actually amazed sometimes with the things I learn. 
Anyway, that's it for today :)

Bye for now,

Here I Go Again!!!

Hello :)
In the last month I have started many posts and not finished them.  I guess I have writer's block :)
I have been figuring some stuff out and maintaining my weight (with a little self-sabotage here and there). 
I really feel like I know myself like I never have before. I am really aware now. This makes some days hard, because I know that I am the main cause of my difficulties. But, in general every day is getting better and I am realizing more and more that I was in control all along.
I do have power and I am ready to get going again!!! 
I have realized that on the days I struggle it is usually because I am making things harder than they have to be.  If I stick to the basics and do simple things it all flows smoothly and I move along.  When I try to make huge changes and shake things up, or if I am hard on myself, I don't move at all. 
I am going to start reading back over some of my earlier post and begin again with the basics :)  I'll put my money where my mouth is and take some of my own advice!  It got me this far! 
I have a feeling that I am 'struggling' now because once I have gotten to my goal - then what?!?!?! 
I have to reassess my goals, come up with some new ones and get this bus moving again. 
I am more than ready to get going.
So far the plan is to start back up with my weekly weigh-ins.  I think it is time.  I will stick with Tuesdays, why not?  So next Tuesday will be weigh in day and I will keep it up until I reach my goal.
If I come up with any more plans I will keep you posted but for now it is going to be to keep it simple, be a great friend to myself, and just do it.

Bye for now,

My Picture NSV :)

Hi :) Wow, it has been a while since I've posted.
I have so many things going on right now but I am basically just living. As boring as that sounds :)
I do have a big post swirling around in my head. I want to share some of my thoughts on depression and let you know what I've been up to. I also want to update my weight and get this bus moving again :)
But not today! Today I just want to share a really important, to me, NSV.
My husband and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend. On Saturday my daughter took our picture and it is the first picture I have liked of us, well of me really, since our wedding day.
That was a pretty big deal. It feels really nice :)
I am officially at fifty pounds lost now.  So I am going to take a picture and update. 
I am ready to get moving again :) 
I thought I would share my NSV pic with you guys, I didn't ask my husband if he minded, so don't tell him ;)

Have a great day!

Feeling Fabulous!!!

I have not been posting very much at all lately, but I refuse to feel bad about it :) Because, I am feeling really fabulous!
I am maintaining right now, but I am so happy with where my head is.

I am having a lot of fun playing with clothes and putting new outfits together. This has really been helping to keep me on track. Who knew clothes could be so fun and motivating?!? I am eating really well and I am squeezing exercise in wherever I can. Doing lots of fun and active family stuff!
Things are going really well and I am happy. So, how can I feel bad about not blogging?

Right now I am just focusing on family and working around the house. I am on a mission to de-clutter. Not just the places that are seen (the way I usually do) I mean I have been attacking the clutter everywhere. In every. single. closet. It feels really good. I am letting go of a lot of stuff. I am feeling free and happy and pretty confident.

I am not going to try and figure out how to maintain this feeling (like last time).  I am just going to enjoy it, and go with it, and see where it leads me.

I guess I did have a little post in my head :)
I keep thinking that I don't really have much to write.

Anyway I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.
I am not doing really badly and hiding it (like in the past)
I am just happy, and busy, and moving along.

I hope to get writing more, but I am not going to make any guarantees or time limits.
I know how that ends up and I will not go there.

I am making good choices and just enjoying life.
It feels really good :)

Happy Tuesday!
(Oh, and that means it is weigh in day!  I will have to update my chart a.s.a.p. but nothing really exciting is happening in that particular area - happily maintaining for the time being)

Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day

Hello.
I am here on weigh in day, it's like a miracle or something :)
I updated my weekly weight chart and my weight today is 161.48 lbs.
I am ready to go!
My weight has gone up and down a bit in the last month.  I let stress consume me and than I, in turn, consumed too much :)  That's something I do sometimes still I guess. Yuck!!! But good to know.
Anyway, I wanted to get a post done today before I hop into bed. I am so tired. It is a good tired though :)
It has nothing to do with stress or drama and everything to do with physical activity. Yay!!! :) It feels good.
I'll be back soon!

Bye for now,

Hello Again :)

I am very glad to be back here.
I have been dealing with a lot of stuff around here and I have been stressed and worried and I have not focused on my health or this journey at all, really. I am ready to change that!

My last post mentioned that we had a sick family member, it was my Mother In Law, and I am very sad to post that she passed away on May 3rd. She was amazing and I will miss her every day. She was like a second mother and a really great friend to me. The person I would call to talk about anything. I really love her. So, I have been sad, and mopey, and all kinds of depressing lately. But I am ready to stop that.

I have so many things to say, but nothing is coming out properly, so I will leave it there for now. I plan to be all updated and ready to go for Weigh-In Day on Tuesday. My weight today is 160.82 lbs. I am working out 30 min./day on the Wii. I am ready to get moving again :)

Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day

I got my Wii problem sorted out, so I have updated my weight chart.
I was really surprised with my weight this morning. I am down to 161.26 lbs. Which means somehow in the last week I lost 4.18 lbs! Huh? I do not even know how that makes sense, but that is what happened.
I have noticed lately that no matter how bad I think I am doing, I am actually not really gaining anything. I am pretty good at maintaining now. That makes me happy, because I think it means that I am learning how to eat properly. Well I am not going to over analyze it....much ;)
I am sure when I get back into the swing of exercising regularly again the scale will slow down, but that's okay. I am not so worried about the numbers anymore. I know that I am moving in the right direction.
For me the hard part is working through my junk and convincing myself to just do it! Once I decide it seems so easy. That's it for now.
Happy Tuesday :)
Oh, and I guess that means I better take my 40 lb. progress pic now! I will get it done a.s.a.p. this time - for reals!!! :)

Bye for now,

No More 'Spinning Tires', I'm Ready To 'Kick Up Some Mud'!!!

A while ago someone asked me if people from my 'real life' read my blog and if it influenced my writing. My answer was no. As far as I am aware nobody that I actually know reads my blog.  And I didn't think it would influence my writing if they did.

But I was wrong!

I am still not sure if anyone I 'know' reads, but I now know that my writing is influenced by my readers.

It has to be!

Because if I wasn't influenced by what my readers may think I would be posting a lot more. I would post more of the struggle, the way I did in the beginning.
The way I intended to post all along.  I would journal this whole journey - good and bad -  and I would let it all out.

I started this blog for me. I used it to sort out my feelings and issues where food is concerned and I used it to learn more about myself and grow. I left it open for others to read and I even mention it to people in my life. But I never really cared if anyone read or not.
I figured if they did that was good and fine, but ultimately this was for me.

Now I feel like I am being a downer if I post my garbage.  I feel like I should only post certain things.
This is a problem!

I am either going to do this or I am not. I obviously have to do it the way that works for me, so I have to continue this journey the way I started it.
I think that I must have been using this as an excuse for a while now.  Something like "Don't post this, nobody wants to read this", so instead I remain silent and (shockingly) I am not making any progress.

I need to get back to basics.  I need to get back to what works for me! 
It really occurred to me the other day that I can either have excuses or I can have results.  I am so tired of the excuses!

I am working through a lot of things right now and I need to write them out.  I am feeling a bit uncentered and out of control.  Like I don't know where to head next, and I want to work these things through.
I am tired of sitting here with my tires spinning!  So, I guess, I am going to kick up some mud and get myself out of this rut! :)

I do want to say that I love all of my readers and supporters and I have been more inspired by you guys than you will ever know.  So please understand, if I get depressing or moody, I am not doing it to bring anyone down.  I am doing it to work it through and get it out.  I feel like this is what works for me, and I am ready to move on now.

Oh, and if anyone stuck through this post 'til the end, thanks :)  I am sure it was a bit rambly and incoherent, but that's where I'm at right now I guess :)

I will be back tomorrow to update my weekly weigh in chart and start fresh.  Weigh-in Day is Tuesday and I am so ready to start year two of this journey!

Bye for now,

Progress Pic - 30 Pounds Lost (Finally Posted)

Good Morning :)
Thankfully it is a good morning here.  I think we are almost through with the flu, or whatever it was.  Both kids are feeling much better today, YAY!!! 
I finally got my thirty pound progress pic onto here so I figured I would put it up today.  I better, I am sure forty will be pretty soon now :) 
I am feeling good and I am glad to be getting on with my challenge, I will post back later today when I am really done day three :)  Promise! 
I realized some exciting things this morning.  I have lost 6.2 points on my b.m.i. and I only need to go down 2.9 more to be at a 'normal' weight.  It seems like I was just getting excited because I was out of the obese category, and now I feel like I am so close to the normal weight range. 
So exciting!  So surreal actually :)  I can hardly believe it. 
Anyway here is my progress pic:

When I was putting it on the computer last night my husband said, "You already look so much different than you did then"  I think I believe him.  I am a little excited to put up my next pic because I am finally seeing a change. 
Well that's it for now, I'll be back later to fill you in on my challenge progress!

Bye for now,

Two Week Challenge

Hello :)  Here are the details for my personal Two Week Challenge.  It is pretty simple.  I am committing to at least 30 minutes of Wii Fit Plus each day or I can do my 30 Day Shred DVD.  I will use my weights every other day and do at least 30 crunches per day. I am back to drinking only tea or water, I just like it better, and my food intake is pretty under control.  I am really excited to be half way to my goal weight and I want to keep the momentum going!  So for now I need to focus on exercise. For me starting is always the problem, so I find if I challenge myself and just get moving it all seems to flow from there.  My last challenge was a little stricter, but this time I just needed to get moving.  So far so good :)  I am on day three.  I haven't completed my workout yet, but yesterday and Monday I did about 45 minutes on the Wii.  So that's it!  Simple, just something to get me moving again.  Small steps work great!  I have been thinking about running though - YIKES!!!  Did I actually type that?  Anyway I am off to enjoy the day.  Yay the sun is shining :)  I'll be back tomorrow to post my progress.  Oh, that is part of it too, I will post each day of the challenge.


Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day/Half Way To Goal!!!

Hello! 
I am back on a Tuesday again, so it would seem that I am getting my junk together :) 
Yay! 
This morning's weigh in was quite a surprise for me.  You may have noticed that I have been struggling.  I have been really making this harder than it has to be, I am good at that ;) 
Anyway, because of the struggle - and the fact that I have had to keep stopping myself from overeating, I figured this would be a pretty scary week.  According to the scale anyway. 
But no, I guess I am finally pulling ahead a bit. 
My weigh in this morning was 166.76 lbs, so I have lost 1.98 lbs this week.   
Plus, I didn't realize this until I updated my ticker just now, I AM OFFICIALLY OVER HALF WAY TO MY GOAL!!!!!!!  Wooooo Hooooo!!! 
Sorry about the yelling ;)  I just got a little excited. 
So, for future reference:  "Cara, no matter how badly you are doing, no matter how much junk you have given into and no matter how much you want to give up - DON'T!!!  It is never too late to stop and choose better.  You had to do it over and over and over again the last couple of weeks, and it was hard, but it was doable.  You did it!  Keep doing it!  Oh and you are Awesome :)"
I never before thought I could stop myself in the middle of one of these downward spirals, but I did.  A lesson learned!  That is a good thing.
I started my own two week challenge yesterday.  I haven't posted it yet and usually that would be a good excuse not to start, but I am going to do it backwards this time :)  I did a really great workout, and it felt fabulous!  I will be back to post the details, today is day two. 

Gotta go for now, bye!

Weigh-In Day

Hello!  Today is Tuesday, and here I am again!  Two weeks in a row, wow :)  My weigh in this morning was less fantastic than I had hoped for, but I knew it was going to be a gain, so I am not surprised.  I am at 168.74 lbs.  It's not the number that I am worried about.  It is the fact that I can still get so caught up in my self destructive behaviours.  It is frustrating sometimes.  You may have noticed from my last post that I was feeling a bit frustrated :)  It doesn't happen too often any more, thankfully!  But when it does, it is awful.  I am feeling really good right now and I am ready to move forward.  I will be posting about my personal challenge soon.  I am feeling stuck and I am not going to settle for it.  I can sit here and wait until I feel motivated or I can move now!  Anyway that is all for now.  I'll be back soon to post about my challenge :)

Bye for now,

Hey, It Really Is Tuesday :)

And here I am. Believe me, I am shocked too :) Anyway I am here and I weighed!  My weigh-in wasn't exciting at all, I am maintaining.  I had a high calorie day on Sunday and I am back into working out.  That usually gives me a quick weight loss, maybe next week will be batter (scale-wise).  But I am just glad that I am finally getting it together and posting! 
I had company over the weekend.  I mentioned that I want to start stepping out of my comfort zone, and I did!!!  I initiated the get-together!  You probably don't think that is a big deal.  But for me it is.  I usually wait for people to contact me, I wouldn't want to bother anyone (ugh!).  But, I just did it!  I am starting to realize that people like me!  When I am just being myself, I am a lot of fun :) 
Plus, a nice thing happened while they were here.  They really noticed how much weight I have lost!  People haven't really said anything (aside from my mom and my sister's), and I was really okay with it.  I figured it was maybe awkward for someone to say 'hey, you look smaller' or something.  Plus, I can really tell a the difference, so it didn't really matter what anyone else said or didn't say.  I didn't think it would be a big deal if anyone did notice, but it was nice :) 
Anyway that's it for now.  I am thinking that I will be doing my very own workout challenge again.  It worked really well for me last time.  I seem to do fine if I challenge myself, I am still not so good at challenging others.  I am not sure if it bothers me so much now.  So, I am going to figure out my plan and post it later. 
I have been noticing some amazing changes in my body lately and I want to add more exercise in.  I miss it! Weird, huh? - LOL!

Bye for now,