I haven't yet today, but it is definitely going to happen.
I had a visit yesterday.
With someone who I like very much and who I have had quite a few really interesting discussions with. Usually after this person leaves I pull out everything I said and analyze it and criticize myself and just, plain, feel like crap!
Yesterday I chose not to do this. I chose to look at everything I said and be kind to myself. I chose to be a friend to me. I used to compare myself and come up lacking.
This time I just chose to be me.
I really believe that every person comes into our lives for a reason.
Yesterday my interaction with this person did a crazy thing for me. I am not sure how, but it was like I was able to just stop and observe myself without criticism or judgment and see how I had really gotten back into the habit of hurting myself. With my thoughts. With my words.
I thought I was past it and yesterday a light was shined. That seems to be happenning a lot lately :)
You know why? I am sure the light was there all along, but now I am looking for it, now I am ready to see it.
Before I would have spent wasted time analyzing words that I can't take back anyway, today I am just grateful that I feel more awake again, more me.
That may have been confusing :) I get rambly when I am trying to work stuff through.
But little by little I am unraveling this issue again.
I am happy to do it.
I am just, really feeling grateful today. It is so nice. Life is better when I live it with gratitude :)
Good for you!
ReplyDeleteLori