Friday, January 27, 2012

Keeping It Up!!!

I did my 1/2 hour workout again yesterday and, no surprise, I felt fantastic!!!
I haven't yet today, but it is definitely going to happen.
I had a visit yesterday.
With someone who I like very much and who I have had quite a few really interesting discussions with. Usually after this person leaves I pull out everything I said and analyze it and criticize myself and just, plain, feel like crap!
Yesterday I chose not to do this. I chose to look at everything I said and be kind to myself.  I chose to be a friend to me.  I used to compare myself and come up lacking. 
This time I just chose to be me. 
I really believe that every person comes into our lives for a reason.
Yesterday my interaction with this person did a crazy thing for me.  I am not sure how, but it was like I was able to just stop and observe myself without criticism or judgment and see how I had really gotten back into the habit of hurting myself.  With my thoughts.  With my words.
I thought I was past it and yesterday a light was shined.  That seems to be happenning a lot lately :) 
You know why?  I am sure the light was there all along, but now I am looking for it, now I am ready to see it.
Before I would have spent wasted time analyzing words that I can't take back anyway, today I am just grateful that I feel more awake again, more me
That may have been confusing :)  I get rambly when I am trying to work stuff through. 
But little by little I am unraveling this issue again. 
I am happy to do it. 
I am just, really feeling grateful today.  It is so nice.  Life is better when I live it with gratitude :)

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