A while ago someone asked me if people from my 'real life' read my blog and if it influenced my writing. My answer was no. As far as I am aware nobody that I actually know reads my blog. And I didn't think it would influence my writing if they did.
But I was wrong!
I am still not sure if anyone I 'know' reads, but I now know that my writing is influenced by my readers.
It has to be!
Because if I wasn't influenced by what my readers may think I would be posting a lot more. I would post more of the struggle, the way I did in the beginning.
The way I intended to post all along. I would journal this whole journey - good and bad - and I would let it all out.
I started this blog for me. I used it to sort out my feelings and issues where food is concerned and I used it to learn more about myself and grow. I left it open for others to read and I even mention it to people in my life. But I never really cared if anyone read or not.
I figured if they did that was good and fine, but ultimately this was for me.
Now I feel like I am being a downer if I post my garbage. I feel like I should only post certain things.
This is a problem!
I am either going to do this or I am not. I obviously have to do it the way that works for me, so I have to continue this journey the way I started it.
I think that I must have been using this as an excuse for a while now. Something like "Don't post this, nobody wants to read this", so instead I remain silent and (shockingly) I am not making any progress.
I need to get back to basics. I need to get back to what works for me!
It really occurred to me the other day that I can either have excuses or I can have results. I am so tired of the excuses!
I am working through a lot of things right now and I need to write them out. I am feeling a bit uncentered and out of control. Like I don't know where to head next, and I want to work these things through.
I am tired of sitting here with my tires spinning! So, I guess, I am going to kick up some mud and get myself out of this rut! :)
I do want to say that I love all of my readers and supporters and I have been more inspired by you guys than you will ever know. So please understand, if I get depressing or moody, I am not doing it to bring anyone down. I am doing it to work it through and get it out. I feel like this is what works for me, and I am ready to move on now.
Oh, and if anyone stuck through this post 'til the end, thanks :) I am sure it was a bit rambly and incoherent, but that's where I'm at right now I guess :)
I will be back tomorrow to update my weekly weigh in chart and start fresh. Weigh-in Day is Tuesday and I am so ready to start year two of this journey!
Bye for now,
Here I Am
10 hours ago