Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Is This A NSV? I Think So, and I Like It :)

I have been having a really hard time finding the words I want to use lately.  I sit down to blog, but nothing comes.  I have a lot of thoughts running through my head and I have a lot of stuff going on , I just can't seem to organize my thoughts into a post.  Things are going well.  I stumbled a bit in my efforts, but I am getting really good at picking myself up and moving forward again.  I am in a pretty good place, food-wise, and I am getting back into the swing of exercising - slowly, but surely :)  I think that it may help to get back into the habit of sitting down and writing.  Just writing whatever comes and letting it all flow.  It will probably be a lot of rambling, but maybe it will help to just let my thoughts loose.  I feel like they are all jumbled and messy right now.  I guess I need to start opening those boxes again ;)  Last night I realized something pretty huge.  I was looking in the mirror and I realized that I liked what I saw!!!  That is huge!  Huger than huge! :)  I don't even have the words to describe what a big deal this is for me.  I realized that for a while now I have been liking what I see, liking who I see.  It may be hard to understand, but before this I really cannot tell you when the last time I liked the reflection in the mirror.  I don't even remember - it has been so long.  I am liking all of me (inside and out) and it feels good.  I am stumbling, I am messing up, I am going slower than I wanted to and I still like me.  This realization is so big, that I feel like I could cry.  It amazes me that I keep thinking I am not doing good enough, and I have had this huge breakthrough.  I almost missed it!  I need to start recognizing how far I really have come.  I started this journey with a number in mind, and I am not there yet - but I have gained something much more valuable.  Love!  It feels so good.  I still want it all :)  The number, the feeling, all of it, but for now - this is amazing!  More than I really ever hoped for.  I didn't even know to hope for it, because I didn't know it was missing before, does that make sense? - See I told you there would be rambling ;)  I am going to get back to basics.  More affirmations, more gratitude, more writing!!!  I am so close to 35 lbs lost I can taste it, 0.1 lbs to go.  I am almost half way to my goal.  I am down to 169.18 lbs as of yesterday!  Half way will be at 167.03 lbs.  I am going to post now, I've run out of steam.

Bye for now,

1 comment:

  1. That is so exciting that you are almost half way! Congrats on the hard work!