Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hiding

I read a very interesting post by Amy on Once Upon A Time...In the Land of Cheese and Sunkist and it definitely got me thinking about the things I hide behind. I actually thought this was pretty funny because I posted about hiding on my other blog in February and that post seems really relevant now. Here is my post, I really think it answers the question of how I hide pretty well:

I feel like I am opening my eyes, for the first time in a long while. It is sometimes almost too bright and the change is a little scary, but I am ready to stop hiding.
If you have been reading along you may have noticed that I am not a huge fan of change. I resist, I make excuses and I hide. I have been aware of this for a while and I have been moving along with this awareness. Often, it seems, at a snails pace :) Sometimes it seems especially hard, and I am sure that at these times I am making the most progress.
I am really amazed at how many different ways I have found to hide over the years. Things I thought I did just for enjoyment, that were really ways to hide out :)
For example, I LOVE to read. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you. Books are great, but I have definitely been using them as a way to hide from or avoid unpleasantness. OK, if I am completely honest, I have to say I have also used them to avoid change in any way! There are other ways that I have hidden, I am after all very creative :)
But I have to say one of the most self-destructive ways I chose to hide was by gaining weight. This probably doesn't make sense to you, or maybe it does, but by gaining weight I have hidden myself very effectively. It is almost like the more weight I gain the less I can see me. The less I AM me! I am inside somewhere, but I am hidden. In many ways this has really been working for me, avoider (yes I know that isn't really a word) that I am :) But now that I am opening my eyes and looking around I see that I don't want to let this go on.
Usually at this point I stop and close my eyes again. Because change is hard and I really don't like it. But lately I have been letting my true self out more and I find that I really like her, A LOT! Way more than I like this other person I have let myself become.
So change will be necessary it seems.
I was looking at a website recently called Secrets Of A Weight Loss Master and it really made a lot of sense to me. Especially when I read that "The secret to permanent weight loss is to remember and recover who you really are." So on my Journey of change today I thought I would work on using a few of the Affirmations I found there. Here they are if you would like to use them yourself:

  • Just for today I will practice self-acceptance. The struggle ends with me. I choose to stop struggling. I deserve peace.
  • Joy is my natural state. I will begin to act from my center and tap into the joy that is mine.
  • I let go easily of the things that no longer serve me. Life is a series of endings and new beginnings. I surrender the old, so that I may receive the new.

Happy thoughts to you :)

Oh, and, how do you hide?

I am still going to work on this because I know it will be good for me to dig a little deeper, but I think this is a good beginning :) I am so glad I decided to blog my weight-loss. I am already so inspired by all the wonderful blogs I have found and I just know that I am going to make it this time. I am really working on my whole self and I thank you all for making me look into myself more!

2 comments:

  1. I remember reading this on your other blog and I totally relate to it.

    I am the master of disquise, or so I was. An overdoer, doing for everyone else what I don't do for myself. One day last year I just decided that I was important enough to take care of me.

    You too are important enough :)

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  2. I'm glad my website has spoken to you! Thanks for the plug.

    Congratulations on all the work you are doing. This tendency to hide underlies many a weight issue. Emotional eaters are people who are masters of disguise and avoidance.

    Reading was also one of my main ways of escape!

    I'm glad you have enjoyed my affirmations. Contact me at via my website and I will mail you my ebook on affirmations.

    Blessings,

    Catherine L. Taylor
    www.secretsofaweightlossmaster.com

    ReplyDelete