Keeping It Up!!!

I did my 1/2 hour workout again yesterday and, no surprise, I felt fantastic!!!
I haven't yet today, but it is definitely going to happen.
I had a visit yesterday.
With someone who I like very much and who I have had quite a few really interesting discussions with. Usually after this person leaves I pull out everything I said and analyze it and criticize myself and just, plain, feel like crap!
Yesterday I chose not to do this. I chose to look at everything I said and be kind to myself.  I chose to be a friend to me.  I used to compare myself and come up lacking. 
This time I just chose to be me. 
I really believe that every person comes into our lives for a reason.
Yesterday my interaction with this person did a crazy thing for me.  I am not sure how, but it was like I was able to just stop and observe myself without criticism or judgment and see how I had really gotten back into the habit of hurting myself.  With my thoughts.  With my words.
I thought I was past it and yesterday a light was shined.  That seems to be happenning a lot lately :) 
You know why?  I am sure the light was there all along, but now I am looking for it, now I am ready to see it.
Before I would have spent wasted time analyzing words that I can't take back anyway, today I am just grateful that I feel more awake again, more me. 
That may have been confusing :)  I get rambly when I am trying to work stuff through. 
But little by little I am unraveling this issue again. 
I am happy to do it. 
I am just, really feeling grateful today.  It is so nice.  Life is better when I live it with gratitude :)

Slacking Off!!!

I am being such a slacker. I did not post my weight on Tuesday. I do not want to make this a habit. Keeping this blog going is very important to me. Lately I have been doing the bare minimum to keep it going and I am not okay with that. I will not miss posting my weight anymore. I will start posting more. I am doing pretty well right now. But I am not feeling the fire as much. You know? That feeling that keeps you going and feeling inspired. I am not feeling it as much and so I slack off. I am still losing - slowly. But I know that I can do better.  I am starting to get back into it again, recognizing the progress I have made so far.  I am so close to 30 lbs lost and that amazes me.  I am wearing my engagement ring and my wedding band again.  Yay!!!  I am able to try clothes on in the regular section of the store - which is awesome, but a little overwhelming.  I am happier!  The last one is the most important of course.  I am going to spend some time being grateful and accepting myself.  I know that I will achieve my goals.  I plan on focusing on me again.  Hey, look at that - I can feel the excitement coming back!  Every time I post I feel it again a little more, and so, since I am not a dummy, I will post more.  Whatever I think or feel or really anything at all that keeps me going, I will be putting up here.  I am ready to get moving again.  Oh yeah my weight on Tuesday was 177.10 lbs.  I have three more to go until I am at 30 lost - Yay!!! 
Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American bloggy friends :)

Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day

Tuesday is here again and, yay for me, that means it's weigh in day :)  I weighed myself and there is no change from last week.  I am maintaining. 
I was a little disappointed when I saw that and then I realized a couple of things.  Number one is that this past weekend was Thanksgiving - and that is usually a problem for me.  And number two is that I am right in the middle of that t.o.m., ugh!  In the past either of those two things would have packed on at least a bit of weight  So I feel like I have been doing really well. 
I have been making good choices.  I have been keeping up with my 30 Day Shred Challenge (I love workout 2, btw).  I have been doing okay. 
I can do better, I know that.  I am sure you guys know it too. 
I have been having thoughts lately of closing up my blog.  I have thought about quitting.  I keep asking myself "What are you really getting from this anyway?".  But I am not going to quit.  I am not going to give up. 
It really does suck to post when I am doing a crappy job, or when the scale isn't moving, or - even worse - moving up!!!  But I am still going to post.  People may find it depressing, I may lose followers.  Maybe nobody will read.  I understand, I love the bloggers who are consistently losing.  They are definitely inspiring.  I hope to one day be there. 
But for now I am going to post where I am at. 
I must have some kind of internal block that will not let me move forward.  I cannot seem to get any more weight off.  I will not stop though.  I never used to follow through on things.  I never held myself accountable for anything. 
I accepted the fact that I was a quitter! 
The fact that I have been at this since April is amazing to me.  It will be six months tomorrow.  For the past six months I have been making better choices, I have been choosing to take better care of myself.  I am happier, I am more confident, I feel like a different person.  Already!!! 
I am going to be grateful for the progress I have made so far, and I know I will make it through all of my goals.  I am having a hard time now, I hate sharing here sometimes - but I am still gonna do it :) 
I haven't quit yet, and I don't plan to. 
So tired of sitting here, I want to move forward - I guess we will see how badly I want it.

Weigh-In Day

Hello :)
I am feeling a bit better today. Thank goodness. I hate being sick - I know, everyone does. I did my weigh in this morning, and I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't gain!!! Yay! I am down .88 lbs. from last week. I know I can do better, and I plan to, but for now I am happy that I didn't gain. So my weight now is 184.8 lbs. I am so close to 20 lbs. lost. I know that I will get there soon. I am realizing even more lately that I need to work on my positive attitude. I am choosing to let things get me off track and I am giving negative things too much power over me. I plan to spend a lot more time visualizing my life exactly how I want it. I am going to live with more of an attitude of gratitude. I am pretty positive usually, and I am very grateful for all of the things in my life - but I need to focus on the good more. I need to let the past go and move away from negativity. I am starting to sound rambly again :) But my point is, get rid of the negative and embrace the positive. I guess that's all for now. Hope your day is fabulous!

Bye for now,

Journaling and A Nice Compliment

I am writing down EVERYTHING I eat today. I am doing really well and actually counting calories! Yay me!!! I will keep this up. I know it is good for me. When I write down what I eat I actually stop and think before I put something in my mouth. Plus I never have to wonder if I am off track, I can just look in my food journal. Sometimes I am frustrated at how hard I am making this weight loss journey, but not today :) Today I know that it is only as hard as I make it. I am going to get out of the house with my sister and the kids and get moving. I have a lot of support and I am going to be grateful and accepting of all the help I can get. I am worth it, and I do deserve to be happy. This morning when my husband hugged me he said "You're wasting away" which is funny but soooo not true, but then he said "seriously I can really feel a difference in your waist". That was nice, he has really been great, and he is definitely noticing all the work I am doing. It feels good :)

Heading outside to enjoy the sun!

Weigh-In Day

Hello :)

Happy Tuesday! I am feeling pretty good today. It is a beautiful day here and I am just feeling good all around. I am really being grateful for everything in my life and just enjoying the good things. I love when I feel this way. Like I can conquer anything. It's funny, that quote by Charles Swindoll that says, 'life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it' is sooooo true!!! I know this for a lot of reasons but lately it is really being reinforced for me. Things have definitely not been going smoothly around here lately and yet I am still happy and cheerful, almost annoyingly so :) First of all we are finally putting a new roof on our house and garage (you should know I am super-cheap so this is a huge deal for me), then our truck which we very recently put almost $1000 into (and that is just recently) conked out on us and we are in the middle of buying a new one. Those are the majors, there is and always will be the other annoying little day to day troubles. But I am still happy and cheerful. I can feel a huge shift going on within me. I am choosing to be happy, and I am living with an attitude of gratitude and it feels good! Okay, now I am starting to annoy myself, lol :) Anyway today is weigh in day so on to it I guess. I am at 192.28 lbs. today. That means I have lost like 1.76 lbs. this week. Happy, happy, joy, joy!!! I will take it. Well I am off to fold the laundry.

Hope you are all as annoyingly cheerful and happy as me today :)