Weigh-In Day

Hello :)
I am feeling a bit better today. Thank goodness. I hate being sick - I know, everyone does. I did my weigh in this morning, and I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't gain!!! Yay! I am down .88 lbs. from last week. I know I can do better, and I plan to, but for now I am happy that I didn't gain. So my weight now is 184.8 lbs. I am so close to 20 lbs. lost. I know that I will get there soon. I am realizing even more lately that I need to work on my positive attitude. I am choosing to let things get me off track and I am giving negative things too much power over me. I plan to spend a lot more time visualizing my life exactly how I want it. I am going to live with more of an attitude of gratitude. I am pretty positive usually, and I am very grateful for all of the things in my life - but I need to focus on the good more. I need to let the past go and move away from negativity. I am starting to sound rambly again :) But my point is, get rid of the negative and embrace the positive. I guess that's all for now. Hope your day is fabulous!

Bye for now,

Feeling Crappy

Hi.
I am sick today. I am feeling really terrible. My throat is really swollen. When I looked in the mirror this morning I was shocked. It looks like I haven't lost any weight, in my face. My jaw, that I swear was noticeable just last night is nonexistent and my neck looks all bloated and puffy. I looked in my throat and it is all red, I hope it gets better soon. I know that I am prone to throat problems, but I hate this swollen look. Plus it is feeling terrible. I am going to weigh myself tomorrow, even though I do not want to. I am sure it will be be awful, but I am definitely not out of the game. Every time I struggle and make it through I know that I am learning something valuable. This is a journey, so even when the road gets bumpy, I am committed to keeping on. Anyway, I am feeling crappy, so I will say bye for now :)

Until tomorrow,

Stress or Why Isn't This Cookie Helping?!?!?!?

So I have been dealing a lot with that 's' word over the last week or so. It may be apparent from my weigh in day :) I actually feel like I probably should have gained, so a maintain was a little bit of a surprise. I have really been letting things get to me. I have really been letting stress rule me. It sucks - A LOT!!! I have been a little bit of a basket case, possibly a raging case of PMS ;) But, YIKES!!! - enough already! I am not exercising like I should, I am not eating like I should, and, wouldn't you know it, I feel like crap because of it. Shocker, I know. It has been so long since I allowed stress to rule me that it kind of blindsided me this time. GRRRRRRRR!!!! So, in the spirit of moving on here is what I have learned. Food is, apparently, no longer my drug of choice. Huh. Is that even possible? It really feels that way. It just doesn't seem to make me feel better anymore. Believe me, this week has definitely tested the theory - and I tried valiantly to stuff my emotions at times. I cannot eat anywhere near as much as I used to and feel at all OK. It didn't make me feel better at all, on any level. This is good, I am sure of it. But also strange. No??? Before I could eat until it made me feel sick and strangely it felt as though I had accomplished something, because the food soothed me. Now, I don't even get the temporary good feeling. I am not trapped in a vicious, horrible cycle. Not anymore! I cannot do it anymore - I actually hate doing this to myself! I feel better when I eat better and I am fully aware of this as I am stuffing my face. It really feels like I am so over the unhealthy, binge-type eating. I am moving on, I am choosing to do better right now, even though I don't necessarily want to;) But, I thought it was remarkable that food seems to be slowly losing it's hold over me. I am not under it's control anymore! Amazing! I am taking this new knowledge with me as I continue on my journey. I am doing an amazing job and I acknowledge that. This setback is over and I am taking the advice of Keelie at Real Fat and pulling up my big girl panties ;) I will say that the stress has hit me harder because I don't have my old best pal to comfort me - but guess what, I am working it out, and I am dealing. I have learned a lot about me this week - so even though my weight was a maintain and I did really bad on so many levels, I will be happy that I am learning to cope without my crutch. - Go, Cara, Go!!!

Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day

Happy Tuesday :)

Just a quick post today to track my weight. It is my daughter's ninth birthday today, so I will make it snappy and get to celebrating with the birthday girl! But, can I just take a moment to say - Oh. My. Goodness!!! How do I have a nine year old??? - LOL!!! Anyway on to the weight. Somehow I am exactly the same weight as last week. I am definitely OK with no change, because I had a pretty good two weeks. But, is it weird that I am exactly the same? It's the second time that it has happened, so just thought it was weird. Anyway that's it for today.

Bye for now,

Do You Hate Skinny Girls???

I am reading back through a book I picked up a few months ago. It is called Secrets of a Former Fat Girl and it was written by Lisa Delaney. While I don't agree with the whole book, I thought there were some useful ideas in it, so I am skimming through it again. Anyway one thing bothered me the first time I read it, and today when I opened the book I was annoyed all over again. The very first sentence on the introduction page is "You don't know me, but you probably hate me." The reason I probably hate the author, according to her, is that she is a size 2, has run marathons, eats chocolate every day, etc., etc. This really bugs me. A lot! I do not hate skinny girls. It never occurred to me that I should. Why would I??? Because they make different choices than I do? Because they are cuter than me? I am completely aware of how I got here, to this size. I ate too much and I didn't move enough - or much at all! I chose to be fat, on some level. Assuming that I hate all skinny girls make it seem like, because I am fat, I am full of envy and/or jealousy. So not true!!! I am full of Doritos ;) Just kidding! But seriously, why would I hate someone because they chose differently than me? I don't get it. I am aware that some people do, hate out of jealousy, I am not completely naive. But I really feel like it is a huge waste of time. Time that I choose to spend on other, more productive, things. Such as finding my missing ankle bones, for example ;) So what about you? Do you hate skinny girls? Is there a club I should have joined? Just curious :)

Bye for now,

The Big Reveal :) or My "Before" Pic

OK, so I have been putting off posting my pics for various reasons. Mainly my reason excuse is that my computer and camera hate each other right now. I have no idea how to fix this problem, so I "can't" post any pics. But really, if I wanted to, I could get off my butt, go to the store, print out my pics and scan them here. A longer process, for sure - but easily doable - at least until they are on speaking terms again ;) Anyway, needless to say, I have just been putting the whole thing off. Then I was looking through my pictures that are already on my computer and realized that there are a few of me already on here. Hmmmm. Maybe I could just post one of these? - uh, DUH!!! :) Sooooooo here goes nothing:


*note* This pic is not very recent, but it shows me before I lost any of my weight (this time) and is at least a step out of my comfort zone, out of hiding. Plus, since I would rather have some of my weight loss pics on here, I am sure this will get me off my butt ;) Anyway that's all for now - I am just going to post this before I lose my nerve.

Bye for now,

Weigh-In Day

Happy Tuesday :)
Here it is, weigh in day, again. Always a much nicer day when I am on track:) I expected a loss this week, because I am doing so well food-wise. But I did not expect the number I got. I am not sure how it is possible, but today's weight is 185.68 lbs!!! That is a loss of 4.18 lbs. this week. That is just crazy! And not recommended, I know. But I am still happy about it. I am back on track and it feels good :) Really, really good! I know that I am not doing anything crazy or drastic, so I will take the loss this week and be happy about it. I also know not to expect a loss like this, but when it happens it really feels good. I was just calculating my loss so far and I realized that I am almost a quarter of the way to my goal. That is so exciting!!! Exactly a quarter of my goal is 18.525 lbs. lost and I am at 18.4 lbs. lost. WOW!!! I only have to do what I have already done three more times. When I told my sister that she seemed to think it was a huge task, but I know I can do this. I know it! It was hard sometimes, and I am aware that it will be hard again, especially when I get closer to my goal. But I can so do this! She also thought it was crazy that I am excited about being overweight soon :) I know it sounds crazy. But I mean that soon I will no longer be obese. Yay, yay, yay!!! I have lost three points on my B.M.I. and in no time I am going to be overweight, and never see obese again. Which is good, because I have really come to hate that word. Every time I weigh myself on the Wii Fit Plus it says "that's obese", ummmm thanks for the info but do you think I didn't know that? I swear it says it with a bitchy, judgmental attitude as well ;) I cannot wait until it tells me I am overweight. I am going to celebrate! Okay, now that I am sounding extra crazy I will end my post. Can't let all the crazy out at once :) But maybe some of you know what I am talking about?

Bye for now,