Feeling Groovy!!!

I really love where my head is right now. I am so on track, with my eating, and I feel unstoppable. I feel like I did at the beginning of this journey. I am excited, optimistic and determined. It feels really good to be back in the game. I have been very self-aware and I know that is why I am doing so well. I am able to stop and realize that I am just "hungry" because I am bored, frustrated, pms'ing, etc., etc., etc. I am really in touch with my feelings and actions. But I don't let them overwhelm me anymore. It feels really nice.

I have also been noticing a lot of things about my body in the last little while. I kept feeling like there was no real change since I began losing weight, but lately I have been noticing how different I really do feel. I can put on all of my clothes, straight out of the dryer and I don't have to pre-stretch anything. Was it just me that had to do that? :) I used to have to stretch out some of my shirts so that they 'fit right'. I also don't have to constantly make sure that my shirt is covering my butt or my belly and I don't have to continually adjust my bra. I no longer loosen my belt or pants (ie. popping open my button because I really enjoyed dinner) and I just feel comfortable in my skin. Does that make sense? It is a hard feeling to explain. I am definitely still overweight, but it is amazing how much better I already feel. I am excited again because if I feel this good now, imagine how great I will feel as I keep going.

So far my journey has taught me a lot of things, but I think the most important one is to love myself. I started out doing good things for myself because I knew that I should. Now I do these things because I know that I deserve to be happy and to feel great. I am no longer working at it because I should, I am automatically being good to myself. I am really happy about this. It took me a long time to feel like I deserved good things. The change came about and I didn't even realize it. I am really grateful for every bit of this journey. I am learning so much about me and I really love who I am.

Anyway, enough of the Rambly  Love Fest :)  I am going to bed at a semi-early hour tonight.  I need sleep!

Bye for now,

Stress or Why Isn't This Cookie Helping?!?!?!?

So I have been dealing a lot with that 's' word over the last week or so. It may be apparent from my weigh in day :) I actually feel like I probably should have gained, so a maintain was a little bit of a surprise. I have really been letting things get to me. I have really been letting stress rule me. It sucks - A LOT!!! I have been a little bit of a basket case, possibly a raging case of PMS ;) But, YIKES!!! - enough already! I am not exercising like I should, I am not eating like I should, and, wouldn't you know it, I feel like crap because of it. Shocker, I know. It has been so long since I allowed stress to rule me that it kind of blindsided me this time. GRRRRRRRR!!!! So, in the spirit of moving on here is what I have learned. Food is, apparently, no longer my drug of choice. Huh. Is that even possible? It really feels that way. It just doesn't seem to make me feel better anymore. Believe me, this week has definitely tested the theory - and I tried valiantly to stuff my emotions at times. I cannot eat anywhere near as much as I used to and feel at all OK. It didn't make me feel better at all, on any level. This is good, I am sure of it. But also strange. No??? Before I could eat until it made me feel sick and strangely it felt as though I had accomplished something, because the food soothed me. Now, I don't even get the temporary good feeling. I am not trapped in a vicious, horrible cycle. Not anymore! I cannot do it anymore - I actually hate doing this to myself! I feel better when I eat better and I am fully aware of this as I am stuffing my face. It really feels like I am so over the unhealthy, binge-type eating. I am moving on, I am choosing to do better right now, even though I don't necessarily want to;) But, I thought it was remarkable that food seems to be slowly losing it's hold over me. I am not under it's control anymore! Amazing! I am taking this new knowledge with me as I continue on my journey. I am doing an amazing job and I acknowledge that. This setback is over and I am taking the advice of Keelie at Real Fat and pulling up my big girl panties ;) I will say that the stress has hit me harder because I don't have my old best pal to comfort me - but guess what, I am working it out, and I am dealing. I have learned a lot about me this week - so even though my weight was a maintain and I did really bad on so many levels, I will be happy that I am learning to cope without my crutch. - Go, Cara, Go!!!

Bye for now,