Weigh-In Day

Hello :) I am definitely in a better mood since my last "crappy" post, thank goodness! I am getting off of the self-pity bus and moving along. I have not been doing so great with my exercise or eating right now, but, if I am honest I know that it is because I am choosing not to do it right now. I am working on my emotional junk. I am not bingeing or anything, I am just letting it be for now and being kind to myself. I definitely have not found my happy medium yet, but that is what this journey is all about. I will find the balance. I feel good today, and really, what more could I ask for? Part of my problem is that I am too rigid. When I try something out, it is like I have set it in stone, and that is how I have to do it. That does not leave any room for trial and error, so obviously it doesn't work. I am moving ahead and the only definite I am going to place on myself is this: "I will definitely not give up on me!". I keep focusing on where I should be, or how I should be doing and I should really just delete that word from my vocabulary. I am going to be happy with my progress so far, because if I think about it I have been sticking with this since April 13th, and for me that is amazing. I am doing it, all this garbage is bound to come up, and guess what - I am still doing it. Today is weigh in day and I am at 184.58 lbs. I have been thinking about weighing in less frequently to see if that will work better for me, but so far I am undecided, so we will see. For now I am feeling good and learning. This is a good day!

Bye for now,


P.S. I am going to try something new and join in on a Blog Hop. I am not sure if it against the rules to use a post from a few days ago - hope not. Well, here I go...


It sounds like a good idea :)

Frustrated and Other Crap

Hi. I have been meaning to get on for a while and post, but I haven't for two reasons. Reason #1 is that my computer is being a huge P.I.T.A. and reason #2 is that I am in a crappy place right now. Really crappy! I hate this!!! Why do I make it so hard? I am hoping it is almost over and really trying to move myself onto my happy place :) But it feels a bit like depression. Ugh! I am sure it must mean I am going to have a huge breakthrough or something, at least that is what the tiny bit of positive thinking I have left is telling me. In the past, whenever it gets really hard it means I am working through a huge thing. So if I keep it up I will learn something and grow, right? But I am tired. I hate the struggle today. I know I am being mopey and doing this to myself. I am aware. I just really feel like it is too much. I did weigh myself on Tuesday and woohoo I gained 1.54 lbs. I am up to 186.56 lbs. It is that t.o.m. so that could explain a few things, but even a small gain is enough to really bother me when I am in the place of crap. I think this all has something to do with 20 lbs. For some reason my mind has some kind of block set up. It keeps saying things like "you can't lose 20 lbs - you never have!" or "you don't have what it takes", plus a lot more crap. I can't seem to force myself over the 20 lb mark. I have even gotten up to 21 lbs lost (between my weekly weigh-ins), but I am always back below the 20 lb mark when my weigh in day comes around. I am doing it on purpose!!!! I am sabotaging myself! Crap! Crappity crap! If there happen to be any readers out there - sorry for the depressing stuff, and also for the excessive use of the word crap :) I am sure it will be over soon. I am still not giving up, I just feel like it. Not loving the journey this week, but I still know it is so worth it, so that is something. On a much better note, I had an amazing time with my husband when we went away. I wish we could go again right now. I am going to be a good friend to myself and work through this - even if I would rather just kick my own ass. Well I am off for now. I have some plans and ideas running around in my head.

Bye for now,

2 Week Challenge - Day #13

Hello :)
Still hanging in there. Had a great day with family today. I haven't finished my workout yet, but I am just about to do it now. I have been doing really well, but last night when I was finishing up my workout I kept getting really dizzy. It was weird, kind of like the ground was moving out from under me. I would take a break for a few minutes but it kept happening. Weird!!! I wonder if maybe I consumed too much sugar or something? Or maybe I didn't eat enough? I can't think of anything I did differently. Well,anyway, before I let my hypochondria take over I better sign off and complete the workout :) Tomorrow is the last day of my challenge - WOOOO HOOOO!!! Then on Saturday we are off for a fabulously romantic time (even bigger WOOOO HOOOO!!!). I will be back tomorrow when I am finished my workout to announce that I did it! Happy Friday Eve :)

P.S. I am not really a hypochondriac, don't worry ;)

2 Week Challenge - Day #12

Hi. I am almost done my challenge. After today there are only two more days and then I am going away for the night with my husband. I am so excited. We never go away and we have been together for 15 years! I think it is about time that we had some alone time :) I am feeling kind of lazy today. I Did not want to drag myself out of bed at all. It is not a mystery why. I definitely did not get enough sleep last night. Maybe I should include an 'in bed by ten' rule in my next challenge. Actually that is a pretty good idea! I think I will commit to being in bed by ten o'clock from Sunday to Thursday night and do it for two weeks. I bet I will feel amazing! I did my whole workout last night and I am really proud of myself. I used to have this inner tape going on that would say "You don't have time to workout today, you are too busy, just make it up tomorrow". But of course "tomorrow" I would be overwhelmed with all I had to "catch up" on that I would never get to it. Yesterday I went out with my sister and the kids and didn't workout by the time I was starting to make dinner. My sister said "Oh well! It's just one day" and the old me would have listened to her. I was even trying to talk myself into skipping it. But I did my weights while dinner was cooking and I did my crunches whenever I had a few minutes and by the time the kids were in bed I just needed to do my 1 hour on the Wii fit. Then I ran out again to see my other sister and when I got home it was a little later than I expected and I once again tried to talk myself out of exercising. I really just wanted to relax and watch a dvd :) Then I decided that I could watch the dvd anytime and today was only here right now so just workout already. I did! I completed my whole workout yesterday, even the crunches I missed from the day before. And I did it on a crazy day, when before I just "wouldn't have the time". I am definitely my only obstacle. I am the only thing that can get in my way. When this two weeks is over and I have done everything I set out to do it is going to feel so good. I am committing to this. I am changing for me! It is so funny. I sometimes, like today, start writing a post and I feel lazy or disinterested or just not "into it" - exercising and being healthy or just getting motivated, I mean. But so many times by the end of my post I have given myself a pep talk and I am ready to do it all! Blogging is definitely the best thing I could have done for myself. I am being more supportive of myself and I am getting support from some really awesome people too! :) Well that is it for today. I think it will be a nice quiet day at home with the kids today, we'll see. Either way I will definitely get my workout in.

Bye for now,

2 Week Challenge - Day #11 and Weigh-In Day

Good morning :)

It's weigh in day again. I am still doing well on my challenge, but I forgot to do my crunches yesterday - Yikes! No big deal, I will just double up today. I was a little worried that the scale was going to be unkind today even though I am doing so well. I did not want to post the same weight again. But then I decided that I am placing too much importance on the numbers and not enough on the fact that I am doing awesome! Seriously, I am a Superstar!!! I was just about to put 'just kidding' but I'm not ;) I have been doing really well. I have proven once again to myself that I am my only obstacle. So anyway I was all prepared to have a crappy weigh in and be all fine with it, but then the scale was nice. I am down to 185.02 lbs. I lost 2.86 lbs. this week! I am happy with that, but it is kind of like icing on the cake because I am so happy about how well I am doing with my challenge. I am .09lbs away from a 20 lb. loss now. So close!!! I have almost lost 10% of my weight and I have 55 lbs. more to go. Today that doesn't sound so bad! I know that it is doable.

Today I will be using these affirmations:

-I am a creature of peace, courage, and joy
-I am comfortable, confident and at ease in all social situations
-I am filled with energy and vitality

I found them here, enjoy!

2 Week Challenge - Day #10

Day #10 and I am still doing it! It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but to me it is huge. I am completing something, I am following through. I used to have a hard time with this. Maybe not in all areas of my life - but definitely in this area. Choosing to get healthy is not something I have done well in the past. I am so glad to be doing it now. I am almost done with this challenge, but it will not be the last one I do. I have almost finished all of my workout for today. Tomorrow is weigh in day so I will be back to post about that. I guess that's it for today.

Bye for now,

2 Week Challenge - Day #9

Hello :) Today is day #9 and I am doing awesome!!! I feel really good right now. I think I am going to keep challenging myself after this two weeks is up - it is so good to have a plan every day. I know when I am done and I know that I have accomplished something. I can do more, but I don't have to. It has really worked well for me. Helped me get into it again. I will probably keep up with the 1 hr. on the Wii every day, and definitely the crunches. Actually I guess I could keep up with all of it, it really isn't all that much after all. Every time I feel like quitting I notice something else that keeps me going. For instance, this morning I felt my shoulders and I could feel the bones. Now I sound like a weirdo, no? I mean that I can feel my shoulders more, they are coming out of hiding, I know they are ;) Woooo Hoooo!!! So far today I have completed 1/2 of my Wii workout and I have been on track food-wise. I will finish the rest of my workout sometime. My daughter is having a sleepover, so I may have to do it tonight. Having two 9 year old girls critique my workout form is not my idea of a good time. But I will do it. Well that's all for now.

I found these affirmations today:

-I am worthy of love and abundance
-I am in control of my life and destiny
-I am at peace with my true self

I found them here.

Bye for now,